


I Do (The Dumbest Things For You)

by uforock



Category: Darkwing Duck (Cartoon 2018), DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: ADHD Dewey Duck, Adoption, Autistic Drake Mallard, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Mutual Pining, NB Huey Duck, Slow Burn, lots of hand holding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2020-11-03 21:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20683172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uforock/pseuds/uforock
Summary: “Yeah, uh, Drake and I… We’re engaaaaaaged! Heh...”Drake just blinked for a moment, looking up at Launchpad, who was giving him his best 'please play along' look. Drake’s improv instincts kicked in and he nodded along.“Yep! Engaged. We wanted it to be a surprise for Gosalyn, the little angel… Having two dads, and all.”-drake and launchpad get married so they can adopt gos easier, not for any other reason. based on a tumblr post i made!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> if theres any inconsistencies or legal... inaccuracies. let them be forgiven theres only so much research i can do on the adoption process without freaking out about how much BUREAUCRATIC NONSENSE im going to have to go through when i adopt a kid.  
title source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EwBNm1Uhs0  
also, just assume drake is trans. i'll figure out a way to drop it into the story but hes trans.

The drive up to the orphanage would have been a quiet one, but Drake had… unique coping mechanisms for stress.

That coping mechanism, right now, was screaming the lyrics to every Darkwing Duck related song ever released and pounding his fists against his legs. He knew his throat would be scratchy and sore by the time they got there, but really, that was a small price to pay considering this was the last line of defense he had against the panic that was rising in the back of his throat.

“Oh, jeez, Launchpad. Launchpad,” he flapped his hands, listening to the sounds of the car humming beneath them as the next song loaded.

Launchpad took one hand off of the wheel, holding it out for Drake to quickly grab, squeezing like he was scared he might float away. “Breathe, DW, you’re gonna be okay. We’ve almost there!”

“I know, I just… What if I don’t get approved? What if they take one look at me and decide I’m unfit to be a parent? What if–”

“What if it  _ doesn’t?  _ What if we get there and they go,” Launchpad put on a silly voice, “‘Well, gee, mister Mallard, we know it’s a bit sudden, but you’re the most amazing father ever, you’ve got this!’ And they let you take her home right then and there?”

Drake scoffed. “That’s hardly realistic...”

Launchpad traced his thumb over Drake’s knuckles and Drake found he couldn’t object any more, all the stress leaving his mind with the simple action. 

“It’s about as likely as you being seen as an unfit parent. I watched you get hurt over and over protecting her. Even if  _ they  _ don’t know it, if they try to say you can’t adopt her, they’re going to have me to deal with.”

Drake felt his heart melt a little. He looked up at Launchpad, their eyes meeting and putting the rest of the world on hold. “Thank–”

They slammed into and up over a curb as the next song started, Launchpad tearing his eyes away from Drake’s as he swerved back onto the street, cars all around them honking furiously. “RIGHT. DRIVING. GOT DISTRACTED.”

They pulled into the agency building, and Drake found he felt a lot safer realizing Launchpad still had his hand wrapped around Drake’s. He only let go to change gears after they parked.

Launchpad left the car running, letting the song that was playing finish while Drake sang along before turning the keys and letting the silence seep in.

Drake’s breathing was louder than usual, fast paced and panicked. Launchpad got out of the car, running around to the other side and opening Drake’s door for him. He braced himself on the top part of the door. “You okay?”

Drake nodded, still buckled in, gripping the sides of the seat. “Yup. I’m fine. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, I am completely and perfectly fine!”

“Really? Cuz, you’re rambling like you do when you panic.”

“I didn’t notice! Thank you for pointing that out, Launchpad.”

Launchpad just looked at him for a moment before reaching his hand slowly towards Drake. “Hey,” he spoke, cupping Drake’s face in his palm, turning him so they made eye contact. Drake was biting down hard on the inside of his cheek, and he shut his eyes the moment they met Launchpad’s. “Can you try to take slow breaths for me?”

( _ I could do anything for you  _ , the voice in his head provided.)

Drake gave a quick nod, focusing on not gulping down air. Launchpad brushed his hair back into place and his breath hitched, Drake finally letting himself lean into the touch.

“Y’know why I’m so sure you can do this?”

Drake didn’t let himself open his eyes. Not yet. He could tell Launchpad was giving him that same look from that day back when they had first met, all honest and raw. The look that said  _ you could do this for real  _ , when it felt like nobody else believed that.

“‘Cuz I’m Darkwing Duck, and I always get back up?” he said with a sound that was half hysteric giggling and half of a sob.

Launchpad’s hand came to rest on his shoulder, anchoring him back down. “Nah.”

His answer prompted Drake to open his eyes in confusion.

“I know you can do this, because you’re Drake Mallard, and you can do anything.”

And in that moment, Drake almost believed him. But in the back of his mind, there was a voice that hissed,  _ anything except admit the massive crush I have on you  _ , which he ignored with a grin as he unbuckled his seatbelt and reached up to hug Launchpad close, taking in a breath so big his lungs ached. 

“And anything you can’t do, I’ll do. We’re a team.”

Drake felt love well in his chest like honey in a teacup, dangerously close to overflowing.

“Okay. Let’s do this. Do I look good?”

Launchpad nodded. “You always look great, DW! Now let’s go before we’re late!”

–

The interior of the building was decorated in a way that felt sinister, just below the surface. The dozens of parenting books lining the shelf on the back wall seemed to exist only to mock him, like he was looking through the window at the electric chair on death row. Drake had, quite frankly been in more inviting looking evil lairs. He laughed at that, but there was no humor in the sound. He leaned over to Launchpad, whispering to him.

“I feel like I’m about to walk into a trap.”

Launchpad let Drake grab his hand again, leaning to rest his head on top of Drakes. “I’ll go in first. That way if it’s a trap, I’ll spring it, and you can have my back.”

“Nooo… Taking the first hit is my job. Now I  _ have  _ to go in first, you dummy.”

“Well, I’ll always have your back, no matter what.”

“Shhhhhhut  _ up  _ ,” Drake smiled, closing his eyes. “You’re the best  _ friend–slash–sidekick  _ a guy could ask for.”

Launchpad let out a flustered laugh just as the door opened.

“Drake Mallard?”

Drake jumped up, shaking his hands out. “Okay. Okay. Let’s do this. We can do this, right?”

“Right!”

“I’m a professional, I–... Launchpad,” he stuck his hand out and Launchpad instinctively took it, lacing their fingers together. 

“I’ve got your back,” he grinned, squeezing their hands together. Drake led him through the door, careful, looking both ways just in case it was a trap.

Of course, it wasn’t a trap. Just a room with a desk, and a tired looking lady with a smile sitting behind it.

They got their introductions out of the way, Launchpad sitting down next to Drake after each of them shook her hand.

“Mr. Mallard, I’m going to be honest. Your background check went through fine, and Gosalyn… We don’t think she’ll  _ let  _ anyone else adopt her, really. But…”

Launchpad felt Drake’s hand constrict around his own. “But…?”

“See,” she clicked her pen. “When someone’s considered as a potential parent for a child… it’s customary that that person is married, preferably with some experience raising a child in the past. You marked on our forms that you would be a single parent, which… is going to make things very significantly harder for you, Mr. Mallard. That combined with your rather spotty income sources… Your chances of being able to adopt Gosalyn aren’t looking great.”

Launchpad turned to look at Drake.

Launchpad had seen a lot of people hurting in his life, but looking back, he had  _ never  _ seen someone look that heartbroken. 

Maybe he should have stopped to consider his words before he said them. He was no good at lying or acting, but for Drake, he’d try his hand at it.

“Aw, rats,  _ baaaaaabe  _ …?” The word felt strange in his mouth, but he said it still. “Guess Gos won’t be able to come to the  _ wedding  _ after all.”

“Huh?”

“Hm?”

Launchpad squeezed Drake’s hand again, nodding at him, praying he got the message to play along.

“Yeah, uh, Drake and I… We’re engaaaaaged! Heh...”

Drake just blinked for a moment, looking up at Launchpad, who was giving him his best  _ please catch on  _ look. Drake’s improv instinct kicked in and he nodded. 

“Yep! Engaged. We wanted it to be a surprise for Gosalyn, the little angel… Having two dads, and all.” He took his other hand and turned to look at Launchpad, even as he continued talking to the agent.

“She was gonna be the ring bearer!” Launchpad blurted, looking just as heartbroken as Drake.

“We–” Drake sniffled, internally wondering how far Launchpad wanted to go with this. “We wanted to finalize the adoption papers at the same time as we finalized the wedding. Make us an official family all at once, even if they’ve…  _ always  _ been family to me.”

Drake has this look on his face as he snuggled closer to Launchpad, laying on the lovestruck vibes a tad bit thick. Not that Launchpad was complaining.

“Well… I suppose…”

Drake and Launchpad leaned forward, still hand in hand.

“Anything.” “Anything!”

“...if you could arrange for the wedding to be sooner, and I know you wanted to wait until the adoption is finalized, but this really does have to be done first, you understand. But we could allow Gosalyn to attend the wedding with you before you officially adopt her. Of course, she'd have to have an escort from social services, but we could make it happen, if you're willing to work with us.”

_ Until the adoption is finalized  _ , sounded so sure. Like it was inevitable.

“So, we get married, come back, and the adoption process starts?”

“Well, we would need to run a background check on Launchpad, verify that he has a stable income… What is it you do for a living?”

Drake puffed his chest out in pride. “ _ He _ is the personal chauffeur for the richest duck in the  _ world  _ , as a matter of fact!”

“And I’m a pilot!”

“ _ And  _ he’s a pilot! A man of many trades, my darling fiance is...” Drake sighed, leaning up against him and kissing the back of his hand, looking up at him through his eyelashes.

(Launchpad really hadn’t thought this through, the tiny action making his stomach flutter and his train of thought crash and his whole face burn.)

The agent nodded, making some notes. “Alright! I’ll give you both a call with a list of information I’ll need from Launchpad, and once his background check goes through you can start on regular visitations with Gosalyn until the home study appointment. I assume you’ll be moving in together?”

They both nodded, she handed them some papers, they all shook hands again, and the next thing either of them knew they were sitting back in the car in silence, just like where they had started.

“...We did it,” Drake breathed. “We  _ did it  _ , Launchpad.”

Launchpad turned to look at him, a giddy smile growing across both of their faces. “We did! I was there!” 

“I’m gonna be a dad! I’m  _ actually  _ adopting Gosalyn! It’s happening!”

“I know, DW!”

Drake slid back in the seat, tugging on his hair with one hand and flapping his other. He froze and turned sharply to Launchpad. 

“I– you’re so smart. You’re the smartest person I know.”

“Buh?”

“That whole marriage thing! You’re a genius, you’re amazing! We wouldn’t have gotten here if it weren’t for you!” 

Drake crawled over the glove compartment and hugged Launchpad like it was the last thing he ever wanted to do. Launchpad hugged him back, unintentionally pulling Drake into his lap.

They stayed like that for a while, holding on tightly to each other, basking in the security of it all. Then Drake looked up with a snicker that quickly dissolved into full laughing.

Launchpad tilted his head. “What’s so funny?”

Drake looked at him, leaning back against the steering wheel.

“Just… most people go on a date before getting married.”

Launchpad laughed, scratching the back of his neck. “Right! Right. I know a guy who knows a guy. We don’t… Have to actually get married, I can get us a fake marriage certificate.”

“Oh!” Drake blinked. “Right. Yeah. That’s… I didn’t think we were actually going to get  _ married _ or anything crazy like that! It’s good that you have a plan that isn't just us getting married, because I knew you would have one. Yep.”

All at once, they both realized how close they were, practically on top of each other, and Drake rolled backwards into the passenger seat but not before slamming the back of his head against the car door with a loud  _ thud  _ .

“ANYWAY! Let’s stop at the grocery store and get some ice cream, it’s really hot outside, we should get some ice cream because it’s  _ really _ hot out.”

“I thought it was kinda chilly today,” Launchpad pointed out. Drake shrugged.

"Oh well! Best not to dwell on it."

They drove off, the radio connecting back to Drake's phone as the same playlist restarted. 

He looked at Launchpad as they drove. Well, more  _ admired, _ less  _ looked at. _

He wasn't really sure when he had developed feelings for his partner in crime, but they were little more than just... annoying. Until now. When he had to get married to him.

It wasn't like it would be hard to fake being in love with Launchpad, it was harder to fake  _ not _ being in love with him. But... Faking  _ faking _ being in love with him? That was going to take some work. All of this was going to take so much work, and he knew it would all be worth it for Gosalyn, but still. 

They already lived, worked, and did pretty much everything together. What's a little marriage between friends? Just friends.

–

OKAY, so maybe Launchpad had been sitting there thinking about how much he loved Drake and the agent had said the word  _ married _ and sent his brain down a rabbit hole that ended with the both of them kissing at a very cool Darkwing Duck themed wedding. What was it, the third time this week? Launchpad was allowed to think about whatever he wanted in the privacy of his own mind! It's no big deal.

Well. Now it was a big deal, actually, because they were–

"Launchpad, focus on the road!" 

"Right! Sorry!"

He swerved back into his own lane, adjusting his grip on the steering wheel.

Drake cleared his throat.

"...Hey LP?"

"Yeah, DW?"

"If we don't have to actually get married, why did we tell her we were going to have Gos be  _ part _ of the wedding that we're  _ not supposed to have _ ?"

"...Whoops."

"Launchpad."

"...I know a guy that can throw us a real fake wedding in the next week?"

"I'm in but– Launchpad _ PLEASE _ don't crash until we get home."

"Right!" 

(They were getting  _ married. _ )

Like, for  _ real _ . What a twist!

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was essentially co-written by @FurorNocturna thanks for my life im so sorry you have to deal with my incoherent babbling!! you are so smart U_U

Scrooge McDuck was restless.

It had now been a full three  _ months  _ since their last big family trip, not to mention the invasion from the Moon, and nothing else of any great excitement had happened. No adventures. No strange mishaps around the mansion. Not even any good old fashioned McDuck family  _ drama  _ .

It had been so dreadfully dull.

So, when Launchpad knocked on his office door, he wasn’t even upset that the house of cards he was working on collapsed under his hands. 

“Mr. McDee?”

“Come on in, Launchpad,” Scrooge said with a wave of his hand, spinning around in his chair. 

Launchpad stepped in, shutting the door behind himself. “Uhhhh…Soooo, do you remember a few months back, when I agreed to watch the triplets for a week while you handled some weird business stuff, and you said you owed me one?”

Scrooge narrowed his eyes. “What do you need?”

Launchpad scratched the back of his neck. “Promise not to be mad?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Right. I need you to help me plan a wedding. My wedding. Please don’t be mad.”

Scrooge blinked. “That’s…not what I was expecting. You’re  _ engaged  _ ?”

“It’s…a long story. You remember Drake?” He weighed the options of giving away Drake’s secret identity, deciding against it. “The actor from the Darkwing Duck movie?”

“Drake Mallard? The madman that was still playing dress–up when we fought Lunaris’s invasion? You’re marrying that overly theatrical thespian? I wasn’t aware you two were ever officially together. All the same, with the way you acted around him, I really should’ve suspected.”

“Buh?”

“You’ve been practically joined at the hip from the moment you met. He’d reminded me of you since I’d met him, really. When he came and talked to me about packing up his trailer after I cancelled the film, the first thing he did was ask me for your phone number. I thought he was about to try to sue me and the company for any  _ injuries  _ he might have gotten, but no! Just wanted your contact information to be able to talk to you again. Good man, he is, if a bit overdramatic. You’ve got my blessing! I  _ am  _ an ordained minister, after all.”

There was a pause, Launchpad’s face burning. 

( _ Just wanted to talk to you again. Just wanted to talk to you again. Just wanted to talk to you–  _ )

“Well, uh. See, funny story. We…aren’t actually dating!”

Scrooge’s face fell, contorting into a look of confusion. “I’m sorry. What?” 

Launchpad scratched the back of his neck. “Liiiiike I said. It’s a funny story.”

–

While Launchpad explained their…  _ situation  _ to Scrooge, Drake waited out in the foyer, seated on the stairs. 

The mansion had always made Drake nervous. He’d only ever lived in small places, from his childhood home to the trailer, and now the garage with Launchpad. The sheer size of the building intimidated him, the number of rooms and spaces he couldn’t see overwhelming his senses. 

He felt like something could jump around any corner, and from the things Launchpad had said about what happened in the mansion, that wasn’t inaccurate. Didn’t they have a ghost butler with magic powers? Wasn’t that something that just  _ happened  _ around here?

A  _ creeeaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkk  _ sounded, like something was moving around behind him, and all at once something kicked him square in the back, sending him tumbling face first down the stairs. 

“Who are you and how did you get in the mansion?”

“Webby, no! That’s Launchpad’s actor friend! Not a spy!”

That voice, Drake recognized, albeit vaguely.

“Technically, we don’t  _ know  _ that he isn’t a spy,” the girl, apparently named Webby said, hopping onto the banister and sliding down, landing right next to him. 

“I’m not a spy–”

“Which is exactly what someone who is a spy would say because they don’t want to blow their cover that they  _ are  _ a spy!”

“Webby, he’s not a spy. He’s just that actor weirdo who was going to star in the now–cancelled movie of that old tv show Launchpad likes so much.”

Drake didn’t even have time to be insulted by that before another kid (god, it’s like they were coming out of the woodwork) managed to catch him by surprise, this one in a green hoodie. “Didn’t somebody, like, die on set?”

“They never found a body, so that can’t be proven!” Dewey proudly announced.

Webby narrowed her eyes back at him ominously. “Most interesting. And just why is that? Did you have anything to do with the body’s disappearance?”

“What!?”

“He did mention wanting to keep the guy in a jar in his closet back at the ottoman store signing.” Dewey added.

Drake gaped in horror, sputtering desperately on air for a few seconds before he form words again. “HOW DID YOU EVEN–!? No! NO! I was an anxious pile of nerves about to meet my childhood hero and when I get anxious, my mouth filter is nonexistent! It happens, it’s egregiously inconvenient at best, and horrifically humiliating at worst. Why, why, why?? I’m always ready to deal with the curveballs life throws at me, but for once!!? Once, can I just get a normal pitch to bat at?! What is taking him so long?! Why didn’t I go with him!? AGH!”

He started flapping his hands at the wrists rapidly and rocking back and forth in place in an attempt to ease his unsteady breathing and racing thoughts. Had to remain calm. Remain. Calm. 

“Uh, dude? You good?”

They kept crowding closer. He felt suffocated– maybe he  _ was  _ suffocating, was there anything he could have eaten that he was allergic to? Now  _ that  _ was in his head and he could feel his fingers going numb and–

“Guys! Back off!” a fourth new voice snapped. “He’s having an attack!”

“What are you on about? Webby only landed the one hit on him!” Dewey protested.

“No, Dooford! He’s having an  _ anxiety  _ attack! Like Louie gets sometimes!” the new voice scolded. Through the cracks in his fingers, Drake could just make out that it belonged to another duckling dressed in red.

“Ooooh that’s bad…right?”

“Well no DUH, it’s bad! It’s bad when it happens to anyone! Not just our brother!”

They all turned to Louie. “Wh– hey, don’t look at me here!”

“You’ve got experience with this! What calms you down when you panic?”

Louie thought for a moment, before shaking his head. “Just–Just back off and let me handle it for a second, alright?”

The others all nodded, each taking a big step back. Louie sat down next to Drake, practically feeling the air crackle with the force of his feelings. “Hey,” he spoke, his voice soft and careful. “Is it okay if I touch you?”

Drake gave a frantic nod, then a shrug, covering his face. “You– I’m fine.”

Louie climbed into his lap, hugging him tightly around the chest. “No you’re not, weirdo. Just accept it so we can move on from this. Breathe with me.”

Drake followed along with the breathing, slow, steady, moving his hands with the airflow until the telltale exhaustion that meant the end of an episode finally hit.

“Oh, I just had a meltdown in front of a bunch of eleven–year–olds. I swear, I can’t get a good first impression with  _ anyone  _ these days.”

Louie pushed away from him, sitting on the stairs a couple steps down.

“Sorry about us triggering all that, we… didn’t know it was a sore subject,” the girl, crap, what was her name? She patted his knee in apology.

Drake softened his gaze, patting the top of her head. “S’okay. It’s just…there are parts of that day I really don’t like reliving. Meeting Launchpad was…  _ really  _ the only good part of that whole ordeal. Well…that and one other thing.”

There was a beat of silence, only filled with the creak of the old wood as all the kids carefully leaned in again. Dewey finally broke the moment, turning to face him with all the swagger and bravado of a world class boy detective.

“So why  _ are  _ you here anyway, actor guy?”

“Uhhhhh…” Because how  _ did  _ one go about explaining to multiple small children that you’re going to be fake–marrying their great uncle’s chauffeur/pilot who is also their older brother figure/close adult friend.

_ …The McDuck family structure is really confusing when you really think about it  _ , he thought. 

“I’m…here. With Launchpad. To take care of…stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?” Webby, Drake reminded himself that her name was  _ Webby,  _ inquired, leaning closer to him but less abrasively than before. “  _ Spy  _ stuff?”

He crossed his arms, a dramatic flair to the action that he usually saved for crime–fighting or playing around with Gos. “You sure ask a lot of questions, Miss Webby. Might  _ you  _ be a spy?”

She gasped, scandalized, a hand over her chest. “I’m not! But! Even if I  _ were  _ a spy, I’d never tell you!”

“But you already did.”

That got their attention. Years of acting practice allowed him to stave off the grin on his bill and keep his face impassive as the ducklings all gasped in perfect unison. Everyone looked at Webby like they knew something Drake didn’t, but he didn’t let it deter him.

“How would anyone but a spy be able to sneak up on me the t– uh,” he faltered for a split second, catching himself before he got lost in the drama and revealed his own secret identity, “...A world class fighter?”

Just true enough to keep the bit going without going overboard. Crushed it. 

One of the kids let out a laugh as he stood and pointed at Webby. It was probably the green one, but he couldn’t be sure. “So, are you, or are you  _ not  _ a spy? And keep in mind, I’ve been trained in  _ six  _ different kinds of lie detecting methods.”

“Okay, okay, I’m not a spy  _ yet  _ ! I’m just in training!  _ Please don’t tell anybody it’s supposed to be a secret _ !”

He lowered his arms. “Wait, what? Really?”

Webby looked like she was about to say something, but she got cut off by Louie pointing at Drake and yelling, “Hey, Launchpad! Is this yours?”

Drake swiveled around and immediately scrambled up a few of the stairs, almost slipping before catching himself on the banister. 

“LAUNCHPAD!!” Drake shouted before his brain could stop him, his heart pounding, feelings and words rising from his chest into his throat faster than he could push them back. Fortunately, with  _ flawless  _ ease, he overcame his faux pas with a clearing of the throat, standing upright and dusting himself off. “Er, ahem. Launchpad. Hi. So, um. How’d it go?”

“How’d  _ what  _ go?” Dewey repeated, sounding annoyed now.

“Yeah, can we just get straight to the point for once? I’ve had my fill of contrived, drawn–out mysteries and secrets for a while!” Louie snarked.

Drake and Launchpad shared an awkward look under the gaze of four critical children.

“Umm…”

“How do we put this–”

“IwaswithDraketogettheadoptionformsforGosalynfinalizedbuttheywereabouttorejecthimforbeingsinglebutIwasn’tgonnaletthathappenbutIpanickedandtoldherwewereengagedandnowIneedMrMcDeetohelpusputtogetherafakewedding!!”

“...Yerp, that pretty much covers it. I’m Drake, by the way.” He said with a wave and a nervous laugh.

There was a fleeting moment of silence after Launchpad’s rapid fire explanation and Drake’s lackluster formal introduction. 

“Wait,  _ what  _ ?” All three triplets spoke in frightening unison.

Both Drake and the robust redhead looked stricken at the prospect of having to repeat themselves in the face of the ducklings’ confusion, until Webby unleashed an unholy squeal, yanking Launchpad down by the front of his bomber jacket.

“ _ OMIGOSH _ YOU’RE GETTING  _ MARRIED _ ?!”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember to comment if you liked this!!!!!!!! im mere moments from blacking out from exhaustion 1 comment = 1 prayer for me


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding plans fall into place. Other plans fall into place.

Drake never planned on getting married. He never planned on adopting a kid. He never planned on becoming part of a family, or falling in love with anyone in the first place.

He had spent most of his life as a bit of a lone wolf. The few ‘friends’ he  _ did  _ have didn’t know him very well, his connections with the people in his life being strictly professional, at best. His family didn’t care for him either, keeping  _ their  _ relationship with him just as professional.

Sometimes it felt like everyone else in the world spoke a different language, and he never learned how to speak it. 

The first time he ever felt  _ understood  _ was the first time he watched Darkwing Duck, and all at once he decided  _ that’s  _ how he  _ wanted  _ to be understood. As something strong, someone brave. People  _ knew  _ and  _ understood  _ Darkwing Duck. Being Darkwing came more naturally than breathing to him, following a script was like having a translator.

When he couldn’t rely on a script…things tended to get messy. Confusing. Stressful. He’d say the wrong words and people would always assume the worst of him, and he’d have to remember that as much as he pretended, he just…didn’t know  _ how  _ to fit in. So he would go back, get back up, and try again. He taught himself how to improvise, he trained himself to be graceful under pressure, and he learned to play a role so well that he forgot who he used to be.

He never planned to be a real hero. He was always just playing a role, even when he wasn’t trying to. 

Then Launchpad crashed into his life and sent him spinning out of control in more ways than one. He’d never met  _ anybody  _ quite like Launchpad McQuack. Someone who understood him, even when he barely understood himself. Who not only tolerated, but  _ encouraged  _ his dramatic tendencies.

Lots of people understood Darkwing Duck, but Launchpad was one of the first people who understood Drake Mallard.

The  _ second  _ person who understood Drake Mallard was a little girl named Gosalyn. 

–

“I have a  _ number  _ of questions. First of all, who the heck is  _ Gosalyn?!  _ ”

Drake lit up, clapping his hands together. “She’s my  _ daughter!  _ Well, she will be, soon! She’s the best! She’s  _ smart  _ and  _ spirited  _ and–”

“Wait, so you can’t adopt her unless you get married?” Huey tilted his head. “Why is that a rule?”

“I have _ no  _ idea, it’s completely ridiculous, but–”

“When’s the wedding gonna be? Do you have a ring picked out yet?  _ Can I be a bridesmaid?!  _ ” Webby shouted, bouncing in place and grinning like this was the single best thing to ever happen to her.

Drake’s head was spinning, the questions piling up too fast for his brain to keep up with. “I– Uh– Launchpad?”

Launchpad took his hand and squeezed it tight, lacing their fingers together. “Wedding’s in a week, we don’t have  _ anything  _ picked out yet, and uhhhhh… I think we need a bride to have a bridesmaid? What do bridesmaids even actually  _ do  _ ?”

“Oh! They plan and host the bachelorette party, mostly, but they also help with the general planning of the wedding and help make sure everything goes smoothly!” Webby proudly listed off, hands clasped behind her back as she rocked back and forth on her heels. 

The group of them blinked in awe. “Hey, Webby? Why do you know so much about weddings?” Huey asked, tilting his head.

Webby kicked the ground with a sheepish smile, clasping her hands behind her back. “Oh, just… curiosity. A lot of research on the history and different cultures around them. Thinking about if I’ll ever get married and what that would be like and wondering if you can exchange wedding bracelets instead of wedding rings…and looking at cake designs. Y’know! Basic curiosity stuff…! Heh...”

The longer she talked the more distant she seemed to get, clearly lost in thought. Someone coughed. 

“Yeah, we don’t have time to unpack that. Webby, just how much do you know about weddings?” Drake dropped down to his knees.

“A lot!” she boasted, bouncing in place.

“Enough to plan a convincing fake wedding in less than a week?”

She nodded rapidly, grinning so hard Drake was  _ sure  _ it was hurting her face. “This– this is my  _ dream  _ ! I get to plan a real McDuck wedding!  _ This is my moment!  _ ”

“I mean,” Huey tilted his head. “Neither of them are McDucks, though?”

“Don’t be silly, lass,” Scrooge’s voice boomed as he descended the stairs. “Launchpad’s as much a part of this family as any of you lot are!” He knocked his cane against Launchpad’s ankle. Launchpad’s eyes got watery and he sheepishly hugged his own arms, kicking at the carpet. 

“Awh, Mister McDee…!” 

“No time for sentimental reunions! We have a wedding to plan!” Webby climbed up onto the banister, snapping her fingers. “Huey! You’re going to be my co–leader!”

“ _ What  _ ? Why does Huey get to be co–leader?” Louie crossed his arms, scowling at her. 

“Because we’ve done stuff like this before,” Huey climbed up next to her. “Y’know, planning romantic events. We planned a date for Fenton and it went  _ super  _ well!”

Webby nodded happily, pausing in thought. “Well… Until his date turned out to be a spy, but that was completely out of our control and we already confirmed that Drake,” she pointed at him in a dramatic arc, Drake giving a nervous little wave in recognition. “Is  _ not  _ a spy. So Huey gets to be my co–leader.”

They shook hands and looked out among the group of them. 

“Dewey can handle the music, like we did at Scrooge’s birthday, and…he can also handle the guest list this time, because of what happened when Louie tried to do it,” Huey pointed at each of them.

“That’s fair,” Louie shrugged. “Oh, boy, looks like I don’t have anything to do, guess I’ll have to sit this one–”

“Absolutely not,” Scrooge interrupted. “ _ You  _ get to help me figure out how to plan the most  _ low budget  _ wedding of all time. I’m not spending a penny more than I absolutely  _ must  _ on this  _ absurd affair,  _ ” he stood up straight, dusting off his coat.

“Why can’t they just… get a marriage certificate? Do it quietly and cheaply?”

Drake covered his face with his hands. “I might have accidentally said that the only reason we weren’t married was that we wanted Gosalyn to be at the wedding…so now the woman at the agency thinks we’re star crossed lovers and she’s going to be  _ at  _ the wedding so we can do the paperwork immediately afterwards and if she finds out we  _ LIED  _ I won’t be able to adopt Gos and–” 

“Drake, breathe,” Launchpad pulled him in for a hug, squeezing him until his breathing evened out and he went limp in Launchpad’s arms. 

“Right, right, I’m fine. I’m fine,” he repeated as Launchpad set him down. He looked up at Launchpad with love in his eyes, one hand still wrapped around Launchpad’s arm. Everyone else stared in silence at this exchange.

“Wait, you’re  _ seriously  _ not dating?” Huey squinted at them, gesturing to the way Drake was hanging off of Launchpad and gazing up at him like he had never loved anything more in his life. “You’re sure?”

Drake seemed to process the words, looking at his own arm wrapped around Launchpad’s, pulling away. Launchpad looked down at him, then away, both of them blushing.

“What? Pffsh.”

“We’re  _ totally  _ not dating!”

“Launchpad is just a friend!”

“Us, dating? Not– that’s not. Drake is my best friend!”

Dewey frowned. “Hey! I thought  _ I  _ was your best friend…?”

Launchpad flinched, scratching the back of his neck, “Uh–”

“I can text you a checklist of things we need from each of you done in the next half hour.” Webby cut in, redirecting the conversation. “For now, Dewey, start on the guest list! Louie, Uncle Scrooge, your first job is to figure out the cake! Drake, Launchpad, you’re coming with me and Huey to go clothes shopping!”

“Clothes shopping?” Drake shifted nervously.

“Suits for you two! Dresses for the bridesmaids! These are  _ important  _ details!” Webby smacked the palm of her hand over and over to punctuate her points. “Go warm up the car, we’ll be out there in a few minutes!”

Drake nodded, taking Launchpad by the hand. “Yes, ma’am!”

She saluted as they ran off, quickly pulling her phone out and dialing a number. 

“Webby? You have that look on your face like you’re planning something,” Dewey said. The remaining two triplets gave her a shared, mildly apprehensive look. 

She gave an excited grin, talking into her phone. “Violet? Is Lena there with you? Great! Put me on speaker and clear your plans for the evening! We have a mission!”

–

Drake and Launchpad were sitting in the car, the radio on low, Drake in the passenger seat and Launchpad behind the wheel. Drake leaned the seat back a little, taking slow, deep breaths.

“How is it this easy?”

“Buh?” Launchpad tilted his head, turning to look at him.

“Like…” Drake tapped the glovebox rapidly. “I feel like  _ something  _ has to go wrong. This can’t be so easy, it’s  _ never  _ this–...”

Launchpad’s hand wrapped itself around his own and he felt the panicked tightness in his throat fizzle out with his words as he spoke. 

“I get that feeling, buddy, but it’s alright! It’s okay to be anxious, but all we can do is roll with the punches and get back up when we fall, right?”

Drake looked at him and smiled, a laugh bubbling up in his chest. “You’re the best fake husband a guy could ask for.”

“How can that be me when  _ you’re  _ the best fake husband a guy could ask for?”

Drake laughed again, covering his eyes with his free hand to try and quell the warm, fuzzy feeling threatening to overwhelm his senses as Launchpad brushed his thumb over his knuckles. 

Holding hands with Launchpad was like being wrapped in a security blanket without the feeling of being restrained. It made Drake feel so warm and safe, with Launchpad’s hand being so much bigger than his, like an anchor, keeping him tied to the world around him. 

The back car door opened, Webby and Huey climbing inside. Drake pulled his hands back, balling them into fists and squeezing his knees. 

“Okay, okay. Where do you want us to go?”

“Duckburg Mall!” The two kids announced in unison, buckling their seat belts. 

“Can you get us there, LP?”

Launchpad lit up at the nickname. “You got it, DW!”

Neither of them noticed the way the kids shared a glance and a nod.

Drake’s breathing was still shaky, and they picked up on the way he kept tapping the glovebox. Huey tapped his shoulder. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Me? Yes, I’m fine, I just… I have anxiety and it makes me expect the worst in situations,” he gave a nervous chuckle, shaking his hands out. 

“Well, like the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook states: Prepare for the worst–”

“And hope for the best!” Drake finished, eyes widening in recognition. Huey gasped.

“Wait, you’re a Woodchuck?”

“Sure am! Got my lifetime membership about… Ten years ago? I’ve uh… Been planning on starting my own troop for Gos!” he grinned, clasping his hands together as he turned to face Huey. 

“That’s so cool! I had to leave my last troop when we switched schools, so I’ve been doing things on my own for a while now,” he frowned. Drake fluffed his hair.

“You can join my troop once we open it up! If you’d like, that is,” he held out his hand. Huey took it, shaking it with more force than Drake expected.

“Absolutely! I can’t wait to meet Gosalyn, anyone else interested in the Woodchucks is a friend of mine!” he cheered, holding his head high.

“Yeah! She told me the orphanage tried to enroll her in a girls only scouting program but she  _ hated  _ it, apparently, because they never actually went camping? So of course when I found out about this I  _ knew  _ I had to let her try Woodchucks! I know them not having any rules about gender sure helped  _ me  _ out back in the day.”

Huey nodded, starry eyed, before looking out the window with an odd expression. “Yeah, it’s… really nice. Not having to worry about being as… _ boyish  _ as the other boys. I was in a boys only scouting group for a few weeks before joining the Woodchucks but… it wasn’t the best. I never really fit in there.”

Something clicked in Drake’s head and he nodded. “I get it. Being in the Woodchucks and, well…acting, were two of the only times I ever felt like I could be myself. Maybe it’s different for you,” he patted Huey’s head. “But I’m glad you’ve got somewhere you feel like you can belong.”

Huey’s throat was tight, finding recognition in Drake’s eyes for something he had never really known how to bring up or explain, so he just nodded with a smile. “Thanks.”

Webby tilted her head. “What kind of stuff do you even  _ do  _ in Junior Woodchucks? Because I mostly hear about camping, but then Huey talks about all these science badges…?”

Both of them turned to look at her and Launchpad laughed, turning onto the actual road. “Oh boy, you’re in for some good stories.”

Drake cleared his throat. “Well, one time at Woodchuck camp…”

–

Dewey sat on the stairs, tapping his feet against the floor as he scrolled through his phone. “Of course I’m the only one who got stuck working by myself. How come everyone else gets to go out and actually do stuff and I’m stuck here making lists?”

He scrolled through his contacts, adding each person he thought might want to come to the list. Della and Penumbra, Uncle Donald, Fethry and Gladstone… Those were all givens, and he could get the phone numbers for Drake and Launchpad’s relatives when they got back.  _ Invite. _

Panchito and José… Well, he would need help with the music.  _ Invite.  _

Storkules and Selene,  _ invite  _ . Amunet,  _ invite.  _

He paused over Doofus Drake’s number.

Well… it’d invite a little chaos to the party, and apparently he had mostly mellowed out after his parents adopted Boyd and started actually parenting him again. He added him to the list. 

His stomach hurt for reasons he couldn’t place, thinking about the entire wedding. Launchpad was doing this to… what? Adopt a kid with this guy? Move out and not come back?

Why should he help Launchpad’s  _ new  _ best friend? What was wrong with  _ him?  _ When did Launchpad and this  _ Drake  _ guy get so close anyway? The bitter, burning feeling in his stomach got worse the longer he thought about it.

Launchpad was supposed to be his  _ best friend.  _ HIS! Why was there this whole aspect of his life that he knew nothing about? It felt wrong, made him feel…like he was just getting shoved to the sidelines. Becoming an extra in LP’s life instead of the costar he was supposed to be. Like their friendship didn’t matter anymore.

He scrolled further through his contacts.

_ Flintheart Glomgold. _

Hm. Glomgold would probably try and ruin the wedding just to annoy Scrooge. The whole thing would end up being a disaster, for sure.

… Well, if someone were to ruin the wedding because of Scrooge, it wouldn’t be Dewey’s fault, would it?

His phone screen went dark for a moment, then the call screen popped up saying Della was calling him. She was out on a trip with Penumbra and Donald to get a few Moonlander ships brought back to the mansion at the time, marking Penumbra’s first official McDuck family adventure. He answered the call, sitting back down on the stairs. “Hello?”

“Hey, kiddo! What’s all this about a wedding?” 

“Yeah, it’s crazy! Apparently Launchpad’s getting married? So he can adopt a kid. I don’t really understand all the details, but I guess we’re all a part of it now.”

Della laughed from the other end, Dewey bouncing his leg rapidly. “Oh, man. You’re planning a whole wedding in the next, what? Four days? That’s insane!”

“I know! It’s like, way too fast! He barely knows this guy!”

“Who’s he getting married to, anyway?”

“You know the guy that’s been running around dressed like Darkwing Duck but he’s actually stopping crime?”

“What? That’s a  _ thing  _ that’s happening? Jeez, I’ve gotta get caught up with Duckburg news… Anyway, hang on, Launchpad is dating the actual Darkwing Duck? Like, the real superhero?”

“Well, calling him a real superhero is a bit of a stretch, but that’s the gist of it,” Dewey frowned, crossing his arms and holding the phone up with his shoulder. His phone buzzed three times through the call and he ignored it.

“Oh, wow. Knowing Launchpad, they’re probably soulmates. Have you seen his–”

“The self–insert fan script? He’s read it to me at  _ least  _ four times. The thing is, they’re not even actually together.”

“Wait, what?”

Dewey explained the entire situation, clenching his fist as he talked, getting more and more upset about the circumstances.  _ Why was he living this entire double life I knew nothing about? Why didn’t I know about it? _

“...But yeah, that’s pretty much it.”

“Jeez, that’s… convoluted. Listen, we’ll be back by tomorrow, but if you want people to even show up you’ve gotta get those invitations out  _ now  _ . Nobody’s gonna come if you only give them 3 day’s notice!”

Dewey felt a spike of panic, nodding, then catching himself and speaking out loud. “Oh, jeez, you’re right! I’ve gotta go! Love ya!”

“Love you too, kid!”

He hung up, mashing the  _ end call  _ button over and over, forgetting that he already had something pulled up until–

_ Flintheart Glomgold. _

_ Invite. _

Oops. Well, no taking it back now, he supposed. He’d have to figure out a way to deal with that later.

He checked the notifications he got during the call. Three texts from the group chat with Webby, Huey, and Louie. 

**Huey:** This has to be some kind of prank on us. 

**Huey:** [073019.MP4]

**Huey: ** There’s no way these two are really ‘just friends’. Webby’s plan to get them together has to work. They’re practically soulmates.

Dewey frowned as Louie sent a wall of crying–laughing emojis. He clicked the video.

It was a clip of Drake and Launchpad, holding hands while  _ driving  _ (like Launchpad wasn’t distracted enough) singing along to some cheesy 90’s rap song together, the camera shaking as they hit a curb. 

This whole thing was so ridiculous. There had to be another way for drake to adopt his kid. One that didn’t involve Launchpad… throwing his life away for someone Dewey barely knew, because what kind of person marries someone without their best friend’s approval?

He went back to the list, even as his phone got notification after notification of the other three talking about Drake and Launchpad’s apparent lovesickness.

Mark Beaks. Did he still have the number from the internship? Whatever, he’d probably bring good wedding gifts, if he even bothered to show up. He’s rich too, after all. The chance of him trying to destroy everything is… Nnot 100%. Glomgold was already coming, how could it get worse?  _ Invite. _

...And, hey, by that logic, he might as well invite Goldie. She would have shown up anyway just to bother Scrooge during a wedding. And she’d probably try to rob them to boot!  _ Invite. _

He vaguely wonders why he even has the contact information for so many people who wanted to rob or kill his uncle. He had Glomgold’s number because he wanted a feature on Dewey Dew–nite. When did he get Black Arts Beagle’s number? He shook his head, the constant buzzing of the group chat making his head hurt. 

The names started to blur together. He realizes all at once that he’s just been clicking name after name after name, not caring who it was.  _ Honestly, if they wanted a real guest list, they should have had a real wedding. _

“Oh, well. If something goes wrong because someone else ruins the wedding, well… that wouldn’t have anything to do with me. Not my fault if somebody gets a little cocky and uses it as a chance to try and fight Scrooge. He’s got loads of enemies! It’ll be fine.”

_ Not my fault,  _ he repeated to himself as he put his phone on silent and shoved it in his pocket. His hands were shaking. He took a deep breath and held it. The clock on the wall was ticking  _ so  _ loud… 

_ None of this is my fault. _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes webby lesbian real, huey nb real, drake trans real. and all 3 of them are autistic and theres nothing you can do about it. thank you for your time........... 
> 
> please comment if you like it!! im really excited for where this fic is heading hehehe > : )


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clothes shopping.

The drive, so far, was shockingly smooth, despite their previous experiences with Launchpad’s vehicular expertise. Drake kept him talking, kept the music going, kept his focus, and somehow they didn’t hit anything at  _ all  _ other than the first curb they ran into. 

“Launchpad, can we make a, uh, special stop?” Drake nudged his shoulder, looking up at him. 

Launchpad glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. “Fine by me, where to?”

Drake leaned up and whispered something to him, the kids in the back seat leaning in and trying to hear what he was saying, but to no avail. Drake pulled away and Launchpad gasped. 

“You really think they’ll let us? It  _ iiiiis  _ important, after all. Webby said so!”

Drake nodded, grinning and wiggling in his seat as he pulled out his phone. “They have to! I’ll call them right now and give them a heads up!”

“Call and give  _ who  _ a heads up?” Huey stuck his head between the middle console. Webby nodded enthusiastically. 

Drake tried to stay stoic and collected, he really did, but a grin split its face and he turned to face them. “Think there’s room for one more in the back with you? We’ve got one more person we need wedding clothes for.”

–

Gosalyn Waddlemeyer never planned on her grandfather dying.

It didn’t feel real at first, like this was all some sort of misunderstanding, that he had faked his death or it was all a bad dream she couldn’t wake up from. The realization only really hit her when she was at her third grief counseling meeting and she finally admitted, out loud, that her grandpa died, and things…just sort of fell apart from there.

Her grandpa was the first person who really understood her. For a long time, he was the  _ only  _ one who really understood her.

She bounced from orphanage to orphanage, had interview after interview, and… nothing. She was too  _ loud  _ , too  _ rough  _ , too  _ much.  _ Nobody wanted to adopt a kid that broke things so often, that didn’t do well in school, that wouldn’t sit still or behave or listen to adults.

She had almost given up, resolved to remain in the system forever.

The second person to understand Gosalyn was a superhero who called himself Darkwing Duck.

–

They pulled up to the orphanage and stopped, Huey and Webby pressing themselves against the windows as Drake got out of the car and stretched before almost _ instantly  _ getting bowled over by a ball of purple and green.

“ _ DRAKE!!!!!  _ ” Gosalyn shouted, leaping up and wrapping her arms around Drake’s neck, hugging him with all her might. Drake hugged back, spinning her around. “I _ missed  _ you, ya big nerd!”

She had on rollerblades and a helmet, a hockey stick discarded on the ground next to her. 

“I missed you too! Did your case worker tell you what we’re doing today?”

“Nope,” she popped the  _ p  _ sound, shaking her head. “Just to be ready when you got here! Did you bring Launchpad?! Where are we going? Is it a surprise!?”

“Wellllll… About that,” Drake laughed nervously. “We’re going shopping for…Launchpad and my wedding…? Surprise!”

She blinked. “I… I’m sorry, what? Your  _ wedding?  _ I mean…I know you have a thing for him but don’t you think you’re moving a bit  _ fast–  _ ”

He covered her mouth, looking around to make sure nobody was listening in. “Shhhhhhhhhush, it’s…we can explain in the car, actually. This isn’t really a parking lot conversation, haha…”

She swiveled her head around, squinting at the car. “Who else is in there, anyway?”

The car door swung open and Huey tumbled out onto the ground with Webby collapsing on top of him with a strained cry of, “HI I’M WEBBY!”

Gos pushed herself out of Drake’s arms, skating over while Huey dusted himself off and Webby bounded up to her, eyes wide. Gosalyn skated in circles around her, looking her up and down. “Hiya, Webby, I’m Gosalyn! Did Drake take in two  _ more  _ kids while he was out?”

Launchpad leaned back from the front seat. “Nah, those two are with me!”

Gosalyn lit up, jumping into the car and kicking her skates off as she climbed up and over the seat, giving Launchpad a hug. Launchpad hugged her back and she giggled, stealing his hat.

“Wh– aw, no fair! Give it back!”

“Can we get Hamburger Hippo on the way to wherever we’re going?!”

“Have you had lunch yet?”

“...Not important! I’m a growing kid! I need nutrition!” she insisted, crossing her arms and holding the hat close to her chest. 

“Draaaaaake?”

Drake had just finished talking to the case worker, letting her know they would bring Gosalyn back at a reasonable time, and was now putting Gosalyn’s bag in the trunk, getting her normal shoes out and swapping out her rollerblades. “Yeah, LP?”

“Gos wants to get fast food!”

“You just ate, didn’t you?” Drake frowned. “How are you still hungry?”

“GROWING CHILD! NUTRITION! KIDS MEAL THAT COMES  _ WITH  _ A TOY!” she loudly insisted. “How am I going to be like my  _ heroooo  _ Darkwing Duck if I’m not getting enough food?”

Drake faltered, frowning. “That’s not– you can’t just…!!” he sighed, frowning and waving his hand. “Manipulated by a child…  _ Fine  _ , we can get fast food.”

The rest of them (including Launchpad) cheered, filing into the car.

Gosalyn sat behind Launchpad with Webby to her right and Huey the next seat over. Launchpad started the car and they got back on the road, headed for Duckburg Mall.

Only a few minutes passed before Gosalyn realized she had an audience. Huey and Webby were both staring at her, leaning out from their seats.

“...Do you two need something?”

Webby’s eyes widened and she patted her knees rapidly. “Do you wanna be friends!?”

Huey put a hand on Webby’s chest, pushing her back a little. “Sorry, she’s really excited. So, I hear you’re considering joining the Junior Woodchucks?”

Gosalyn smiled. “You’re good, it’s no big deal. Yes, we can be friends, and yes I’m  _ considering  _ joining the Junior Woodchucks. Drake really likes ‘em, so they  _ must  _ be either really cool or really dorky.”

“Wh– hey!”

The rest of the ride to the mall was mostly quiet, until Drake plugged his phone in and started playing a song. Gosalyn seemed to recognize it immediately, eyes widening as she covered her face.

“ _ Daring duck of mystery…  _ ”

Drake looked back at them with a grin on his face, quietly singing and bobbing his head along.

“Ugh, c’mon, we do this  _ every time  _ you pick me up!”

“ _ Champion of right! Swoops out of the shaaaadows…  _ ”

Gosalyn crossed her arms, looking away, fighting a smile. Webby and Huey were nodding along to the music as well, recognizing the tune but not the lyrics.

“ _ Darkwing owns the niiiiight  _ ,” Gosalyn gave in and sang along, looking at the way Drake lit up out of the corner of her eye. “  _ Somewhere some villain schemes–  _ ”

“ _ But his number’s up! THREE! TWO! ONE!  _ ” Launchpad pitched in, tapping the steering wheel with each word.

_ “DARKWING DUCK!” _

The three of them practically cheered, Webby and Huey looking back and forth between each other and the rest of the cars occupants, giggling while Huey got his phone out and recorded the events.

–

After getting Hamburger Hippo and eating in the car, they filed into the mall and headed towards the department stores, passing the various window displays.

“So what are we looking for here?” Drake leaned down to talk to Webby. 

“Ceremony outfits for you two, bridesmaid dresses, and groomsmen suits!”

Drake repeated her words and nodded. “I’d like a suit, personally… Launchpad, what do you– Launchpad?”

They all turned around, finding LP standing outside a store and staring up at it in awe with Webby standing next to him, like she had stopped him while he walked past. 

“What are you two looking… Oh.”

Behind the glass sat a display of a pair of suits that were almost  _ exactly  _ the right shade of purple, a large sign saying  _ 75% off sale  _ sitting next to them. Launchpad turned towards Drake with a giddy grin on his face. 

“ _ DW…  _ ”

“I know, I know, let’s go!”

Drake bounced in place before going into the store, his enthusiasm matching Launchpad’s as the rest of their group went inside, Webby knocking twice on the glass before they went in.

“Oh, shoot, they’re here,” said a familiar voice from inside.

“I can see that, Lena. Hello, Launchpad!”

“ _ Lena!  _ ” Webby jumped at her, the two girls hugging each other tightly. She then pulled back and hugged Violet, giggling and grinning. 

“Violet? Lena? What are you guys doing here?” Launchpad tilted his head. 

Drake looked back at them from his place circling the suits like a hawk. “Oh, hey, weren’t you two the ones that helped us out during the alien invasion thing?”

“You guys  _ helped  _ during the alien invasion? Geez, I was just stuck inside twiddling my thumbs the whole time,” Gosalyn complained, crossing her arms. “I so could’ve taken at least one of those aliens down!”

“Oh, um...” Violet looked at Gosalyn and coughed, glancing up at Lena. 

Lena nodded and leaned to one side, letting her bangs fall over her eyes. “Yeah, we took out three of them in less than a minute, as a team. We’re kinda awesome like that.”

“Keen gear!” Gosalyn breathed, starry eyed. 

“Launchpad!” Drake interrupted, shoving a suit into his hands. “You’ve  _ got  _ to try this on, I think it’s in your size!” 

“Sure thing, DW! Only once we find something for you, though!”

“Right, of course! Hold that,” he took his grip off of the suit, leaving Launchpad to catch it before it fell to the ground. A few moments later he pulled a matching purple suit off the rack, holding it over himself and determining it was about his size. “Okay, where are the dressing rooms?”

Lena and Violet snapped to attention, pulling them both to the back of the store and shoving them into separate dressing rooms, the doors shutting behind both of them.

“Okay!” Webby announced, pulling the rest of the kids out of earshot of either dressing room. “Gosalyn. We need information.”

“Woah, hold on,” she got into a fighting stance. “What kind of information are we talkin’ here?”

“About if Drake and Launchpad are really  _ not  _ dating!” Huey crossed his arms, the four of them all staring at Gosalyn waiting for a response.

Gosalyn sighed in relief. “Oh, right, that. No, they’re not dating, but I know at least Drake is absolutely head over heels for Launchpad. It’s, like, one of the only things he talks about!  _ Gos, do I look okay? Gos, do you think I was too awkward? Gos, did you see he laughed at my joke?  _ It’s  _ sickeningly  _ adorable. But like, they weren’t even dating last week, I’ve got no idea  _ why  _ they’re getting married so suddenly.”

The rest of them blinked, leaning back and acting inconspicuous to the best of their abilities, which, for everyone except Lena, was not very good. Gosalyn narrowed her eyes. “Do…  _ you  _ know why they’re getting married?”

“Uh…the funny thing about that is–”

The dressing room door opened and Drake stepped out, smoothing the fabric of the suit down. The tie remained loose around his neck, which seemed to throw off the whole  _ fancy  _ vibe the suit gave. He paused, looking in the mirror with a smile. “Huh…Not bad at  _ all  _ ,” he turned, looking at the back.

“Gee, you look nice,” Launchpad’s voice came from behind him. He jumped, spinning around, breath catching at the sight. 

Launchpad usually wore collared shirts, but seeing him in an actual  _ suit  _ was a whole different thing, according to Drake’s heart. Maybe that wasn’t entirely it; perhaps it was that he was in a suit  _ because  _ of Drake. Because he wanted to do this for him–  _ with  _ him. Even if it wasn’t real, the way his chest tightened at the sight of Launchpad’s messy hair with the perfectly ironed suit was real. 

“Oh, me? Um. Thanks! Thank you, I mean. You look nice, as well. You’re gorgeous. Wait, what? I’m going to stop talking now,” he rambled, his blush rapidly covering his face. Launchpad stepped closer.

“Thanks, DW! Do you need a little help with that?” Launchpad smiled and Drake swore his heart skipped a beat.

“Um?”

“The tie, I mean. I’m pretty used to tying mine, so I’ve gotten pretty good at it,” he smiled, almost smug with pride. Drake laughed and nodded.

“I never really…learned how to do it. I’ve always just used youtube tutorials,” he scratched the back of his neck nervously. Launchpad nodded and stepped forward.

Saying Drake was flustered was the understatement of the century. He was on the verge of genuinely fainting at the sensation of Launchpad mumbling some rhyme about tying a tie under his breath, their faces a mere few inches apart, Launchpad’s hands barely touching him while he tied it off. He could feel his heartbeat in his fingertips, his head growing fuzzy, positive his whole face was red.

He made the fatal mistake of looking at Launchpad’s face, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his beak in concentration, leaning in just a little bit closer as he pulled the knot securely around his neck. It was so cute that Drake nearly swooned, only just barely keeping himself standing.

When Launchpad pulled back it left Drake reeling. “Thanks, partner,” he managed to say.

The kids stared in absolute awe at the pair of them smiling and blushing, neither backing up or looking away for  _ far  _ longer than necessary. Huey was recording the interaction, sending it to the group chat.

**Huey: ** I swear we’re being punked. What prank show are we on? What universe is this where this isn’t flirting? 

–

Louie was going to text back something along the lines of ‘ _ that’s just how it is with repressed gay crushes, man,’  _ but Scrooge swatted at his phone. “No time for texting, we have to finish the catering  _ now  _ !”

“ _ Ugh,  _ can’t we just… I dunno, buy a bunch of pizzas?”

“This is a  _ wedding,  _ Louie, not some college job fair. We’re cannae simply order cheap fast food!”

“Why not?” Louie threw up his hands. “Launchpad’s favorite food is  _ literally  _ burritos. Why can’t we just make a build your own burrito station or something?”

Scrooge smiled. “Now that’s not a bad idea!  _ Beans  _ are something you can easily buy in bulk, as well as cheese, tortillas… We could cater the whole event for less than a hundred dollars if we play our cards right!”

Louie beamed. “Wow, seriously? Wait. How many people are supposed to be coming to this thing?”

Scrooge shrugged. “Eh, around fifty? If we run out of food, that’ll be their problem.”

There was a knock at the door. It swung open to reveal Ms. Beakley, frowning, arms crossed. “Sorry, what’s all this about cooking?”

“Ah, Ms. B! We were just–”

“We’re planning Launchpad’s wedding and I’m on catering duty,” Louie said, going back to texting the group chat.

Scrooge ruffled his hair. “Don’t interrupt.” He looked back up at Ms. Beakley. “We’re planning Launchpad’s wedding, and I’ve put Louie on catering duty. Figured it’d be a good learning opportunity for the three of them, yes? Give them a little  _ event planning experience  _ .”

She stared at them for a moment before putting her head in her hands and groaning. “Let me get this straight. Instead of consulting me, a professional chef that is already on your payroll, you’ve left the food for a  _ major event  _ in Launchpad’s life in the hands of a literal child. Yes?”

Scrooge smiled nervously. “Well, when you put it like that–”

“Yep, that’s what he did! How wreckless! It’d be a shame if you swooped in and took over!” Louie leaned back, nudging the clipboard with their notes on it towards her. 

Ms. Beakley glared at the clipboard like it had directly offended her very soul. “...No, you’ve dug your graves. You want to plan a wedding by yourselves, go ahead! Who am I to get in the way of their… Learning opportunities. Carry on, then!”

She left the room and Louie swore under his breath, Scrooge swatting the back of his head. “Language.”

“Sorry, Uncle Scrooge.”

“Never mind all that, let’s get back to work!”

They continued their planning while Ms. B made a few calls of her own.

–

“Alright! The next step is to get the bridesmaid dresses! Huey, you’re the same size as your brothers, so you can just find a suit that fits you and then you can get three of those,” Webby instructed, reading out of her notebook. Huey saluted and got looking in the racks for one in his size.

“I’ve already found some dresses I think will work, and since Gosalyn is here she can actually try them on!”

Gosalyn flinched. “Uh… Dresses?”

Webby had already shoved one of them into her arms, the fabric scratchy and strange against her hands. “Go ahead and try it on! If it doesn’t fit right we can try a different one!”

Goslyn nervously shuffled into the dressing room, staring at the garment. 

Why did this feel so…bad? She always had an issue with wearing dresses, but she’d kept quiet about it. It was a nice dress, one she liked looking at, but as she changed into it she felt more and more like something was horribly  _ wrong  _ with wearing it. Like she was lying about something, and if other people saw her wearing it they’d know she was lying.

“Gos? You alright in there?”

Drake’s voice was gentle and reassuring and made the ache in her throat ease up enough for her to talk again. “I’m fine, the dress…isn’t right.”

It felt wrong, it felt strange, her skin felt  _ itchy  _ . She quickly shoved the dress under the door, feeling like it was taking up all the air in the tiny dressing room. She tugged her normal clothes and jacket back on.

She looked in the mirror, feeling more herself again in her jeans and jacket and tennis shoes. She could  _ move  _ in this,  _ breathe  _ in this. 

Webby passed another dress under the door and she felt sick to her stomach. 

“That one won’t work either.”

“What’s wrong with it?” 

“It just  _ won’t  _ , okay?!”

Her tone was sharper than she would have liked, but the silence that came after her shouting cut a lot deeper. There was mumbling from under the door that she couldn’t quite make out until she heard Violet’s voice, loud and clear. 

“How about this?”

And they passed a suit under the door; one that was just like Drake and Launchpad’s but in her size.

“Is this for me?” 

“Yes,” Violet confirmed. “I figured since you weren’t wearing anything feminine to begin with, you might feel more comfortable in a suit as opposed to a dress.”

“I…I can just do that?” her voice was shaky.

“Aw, sweetheart, of course you can!” Drake said, reaching a hand under the door. She squeezed it before pulling away. “You don’t ever have to wear a dress if you don’t want to.”

“Thanks, Drake,” she whispered, a little emotional. 

She stared down at the clothes in her hand and with a deep breath, she changed into them and opened the door. 

Everyone turned to look at her, still in her sneakers, suit and tie included.

“Oh, wow!”

“You look so  _ good!  _ ”

“Feel better?” Violet said with a smile. Gosalyn nodded, smiling and staring at herself in the mirror. 

“Keen gear, I look like a secret agent!” she cheered, doing some dramatic poses.

Launchpad elbowed Drake’s side. “She gets that from you, y’know.”

He blushed and smiled, stumbling backwards as Gosalyn jumped up and hugged him tight. “Thanks,  _ dad…  _ ”

He immediately has to choke back tears, blinking in absolute shock. “Did…Did you just call me dad?”

She pulled back. “Uh…Sorry, I didn’t–”

_ “Launchpad and I are getting married so that we can adopt you!” _

The silence in the room was thicker than texas toast. Gosalyn blinked up at him in awe.

“You…You want to adopt me?”

Drake felt himself laugh, nervousness threatening to overwhelm him. “Well, yeah, you’re like, the coolest kid in the world–  _ oof  _ !”

Gosalyn squeezed him like he might fly away if she didn’t hold on tight enough. She couldn’t find the words to explain how she felt, so she hoped this would be enough.

When she pulled back, though…

“Ugh, gross! Stop crying, you big dork!”

Drake sniffled. “I can’t help it! I’m  _ happy  _ !”

Another pair of arms wrapped around them and Launchpad hugged them both, and to Drake it felt like he was being held together, like this was what made sense more than anything.

He felt complete, as cliche as it sounded in his head. He felt that dull ache in his chest again, wishing this could all be real. That Launchpad was really in love with him, that they were getting married for love and not because Launchpad made an impulsive decision.

Oh,  _ God  _ , what if Launchpad regretted this? What if he was only going along with it because he didn’t want to upset Drake? What if–

“Well, do you guys want to wear the suits out? Because we actually have reservations for you at the  _ finest  _ restaurant in the mall at 6,” Huey announced, bowing. 

“Dinner? What for?” Drake tilted his head.

“So you can practice being all,” Huey waved his hand in the air, looking for the right words. “ _ Romantic  _ together! It’s a practice date! How are you going to convince the case worker that you’re in love if you’ve never even been on a date with each other before?”

Drake and Launchpad looked at each other and blushed. “ _ Oh  _ .” 

A date, huh? That’s fine, Drake could handle one fake date. This was fine, he reassured himself. He did patrols with Launchpad almost every night, this was just that but at a restaurant. 

Without the threat of being attacked by villains. 

(Drake hoped. It  _ had _ been a while since his last date.)

“Sounds good to me, I’m starving!” Gosalyn exclaimed, climbing up onto Launchpad’s shoulder and sitting there, kicking her legs back and forth. 

“Me too, kiddo!” Launchpad agreed, keeping one arm wrapped around Drake’s shoulders. 

One date. One date.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember to comment if you enjoyed this fic!!!!! writing this on adhd meds is a whole new experience its like. i get INTO it. its fun!! 
> 
> i forgot how good writing really sappy close-quarters scenes is.... my years of writing final space fluff oneshots have prepared me for this moment


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More mall shenanigans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy moly this chapter is a lot longer than I expected it to be. WHOOPS.  
i will pepper in some louie/boyd and some webby/lena... just for fun. like a chef adding a little bit of spice.

As it turns out, the ‘finest food the mall has to offer,’ still wasn’t anything more fancy than a gimmicky chain “restaurant” called _ Funso’s _. The place was complete with loud music, tacky decorations, and a rather unsettling mascot positioned at the front of the establishment. 

Oh, and food so bad it was almost impressive. 

The old fluorescent light right above their table was flickering and buzzing, too, which Drake noticed _ right _ away as they sat down, the kids all packed into a booth. They seated him and Launchpad at a small table by themselves, facing each other.

Huey had even pulled out a small bundle of flowers that were clearly picked from the bushes out in front of the mall, arranged in a Pep bottle that was clearly from a vending machine, some of the bubbling blue liquid still inside. 

Drake was dreading this moment from the second that they walked in. Launchpad wasn’t saying anything, simply looking at the menu in silence. Drake picked up his own menu and looked at it, but the words were all sort of blurring together. He resolved to just order whatever Launchpad got. They had really similar taste in food anyway!

“...So what do you wanna get? I, uh, can’t seem to choose,” Launchpad said, squinting at the menu. 

“Uhhhhmmmmmmm,” Drake closed his eyes and moved his finger in a circle blindly, pointing at something on the menu and opening them. “...Dinosaur shaped… meat nuggets? I’m sorry, what _ kind _of meat is it?”

Launchpad shrugged. “Maybe it’s all of them?”

“A nugget made of every kind of meat? Even the _ weird _ones? Don’t you think that’d be kind of gross?” he laughed, laying the menu flat on the table and looking at Launchpad. 

“I mean, meat pretty much all tastes the same, right? So wouldn’t it just… cancel out?”

Drake blinked in shock. “No? What are you even talking about, ‘_ all meat tastes the same _’?”

“Yeah,” Launchpad nodded. “Like, the texture is the only thing that really changes, y’know? They all just taste like the same thing.”

While Drake attempted to process Launchpad’s statement, an exhausted looking waitress came over, adjusting a pad of paper in her hands.

“Have you decided on your orders yet?”

“Oh, um, Launchpad?” Drake looked up at him. 

Launchpad blanked. “Uh, what do you think is good here, Miss…” he squinted at her nametag. “Jane?”

She shrugged as well, letting out a sigh. “I cannot stress enough that I wouldn’t eat here even if the employee’s discount was _ 100% _ off. The only thing even _ vaguely _edible is the pizza, and even that’s, like, a 50/50 chance of survival on a good day.”

“Well, is today a good day?” Drake asked.

She blinked, staring blankly into space for a moment as one of her coworkers yelled out from the kitchen. “Jane! I accidentally dropped my phone in the deep fryer again and I need you to help me fish it out!”

She took a deep breath, then exhaled. “For this place? Yes.”

Drake nodded, closing the menu. “I’ll have the pizza, then.”

Launchpad nodded. “Same here. Oh! And uh... “ he counted up the kids. “Those five are on our tab as well.”

She nodded and headed over to them, getting the kids orders and heading over to the kids' table to get their drink orders.

Drake let out a sigh, his hands shaking as he covered his face. Launchpad looked up at him.

“Hey, you alright, DW…?”

Drake peeked through his fingers, flinching a little and pulling his hands down. “Who, me? I’m perfectly fine! It’s not that I haven’t been on a real date in at least the last few years and have no idea how to act on them,” he wrung his hands together, chewing the inside of his cheek. 

Launchpad’s gaze softened and he smiled, waving his hand dismissively. “Hey, that’s totally fine! Just… Oh! Just pretend we’re on patrol! We always have a good time on patrols, right?”

Drake flapped his hands, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “You’re right, as always, LP. I’m just… in my own head too much.”

“Yeah! This is just a pretend date anyway, it doesn’t have to be perfect,” Launchpad said. Drake visibly deflated for a moment before shaking his head and laughing. 

“You’re _ way _out of my league, anyway,” Drake mumbled, resting his cheek on the palm of his hand. Launchpad tilted his head.

“Huh? I think you’ve got that backwards, bud. You’re out of _ my _ league, if anything!”

Drake covered his smile with his hand, looking away from him, heart pounding. “Nah, you’re just saying that to be nice.”

Launchpad reached across the table, palms upturned, and Drake let his hands fall into them without even thinking about it. 

“Nah, you’re like, the coolest person I’ve ever met! You like Darkwing— the show, just as much as I do, you’re witty and brave and you look good in a cape,” he trailed off as Drake snorted, squeezing his hands. 

“Using my own words against me…”

“And you’ve got a really cute laugh,” Launchpad blurted, leaning in a little. Drake froze, cheeks burning.

“I... Launchpad?“

“DW?”

“...What are we doing?”

Drake tilted his head with a lopsided smile, just barely hiding how fast his heart was beating and the slight shaking in his arms, but Launchpad could tell. He could always tell when Drake was afraid.

“Uh… going on a fake date to practice for the fake wedding?”

Drake blinked a little quicker, his hands twitching against Launchpad’s. He pulled them back, crossing his arms and trying to control his breathing. “...Right, of course. I’m,” he swallowed, “going to run and…bathroom. Yeah.”

Launchpad felt his own arms reach out for Drake as he scooted backwards and walked away, worry and fear and a bundle of feelings he couldn’t name taking up residence in his stomach. 

He balled his hands into fists in his lap, holding his breath for a few seconds. Okay, he had messed up somewhere, but he wasn’t sure how. Was DW just realizing that this was a bad idea? Or worse… Did he realize Launchpad was being genuine with his flirting? Did he leave because he was weirded out by it? Oh, jeez… 

“Hey, where’s Drake?”

He flinched, looking down. Gosalyn wedged herself under his arm, looking up at him. He relaxed a little, resting a hand on top of her head. She closed her eyes, giggling.

“He went to the bathroom for a minute. You kids all good over there?”

“Yeah, I kinda wanna go check out the arcade and I was gonna weed some money outta Drake for tokens,” she whispered, climbing up onto his lap for a hug. He wrapped an arm around her, laughing softly.

“He’s…kinda stressed right now, but you might be able to get a few dollars out of him.”

“Why’s he stressed? I thought things were going well?” Gosalyn frowned. Launchpad gave a sigh, resting his cheek on top of her head.

“I don’t think I’m too good at the whole…_ pretend husband _ schtick. I haven't been a _ real _ boyfriend to anyone in a while and…I guess I’m just bad at drawing the line between real and pretend sometimes,” he scratched the back of his neck. Gosalyn just sat there, hugging him tight.

“Well, I know Drake _ really _ likes you. And he would have called this whole thing off if he _ didn’t _like you. I’ll go talk to him and make sure he’s alright,” she reassured, looking up and nuzzling his chest. Launchpad sighed.

“No, sweetpea, it’s not your problem to solve, honest! I can handle it on my own.” 

“Hmmmmmm… nah, I’m gonna help! Besides, you’re both too dense to work out your problems without help anyway,” she joked, reaching up and swiping the hat off his head before hopping down and running off with it. “Love ya, Launchdad!”

“Hey did you just— _ aaaaaaand _she’s gone.” 

He felt better now, at least, his heart warm with love for his daughter. His _ daughter _?

Well, marrying Drake would make her _ his _daughter too… Did Drake want that?

He cut off the thoughts there, shaking his head. He’d just _ ask _ Drake whenever he came back, put the thoughts to rest. Rip off the metaphorical bandaid. 

—

Drake sat outside the bathroom, headphones plugged in. He promised himself that after this next runthrough of the DWD theme he would get back up and get back out there, but…he promised that to himself 3 loops of the song ago, and now they were all blending together into one big song—casserole in his head. 

He just needed to calm down. He just needed a distraction. He just needed—

“Dad?”

A tiny hand found itself on his knee and he looked up, turning down his music. 

“Oh, hiya Gosalyn,” he smiled, opening his arms. She leaned into him, letting him hug her close. “What’s up?”

“I could ask you the same question! What are ya doin’ walking out on Launchpad in the middle of your date?” she squinted up at him, leaning close. He gave a nervous laugh, looking down and away.

“That’s none of your business. Don’t you have other things to do besides meddle in your father’s love life? Like, I dunno, what is it that kids do these days? Play video games? Do funny dances?” he laughed and ruffled her hair, stealing Launchpad’s hat back and putting it on himself. She batted his hands away, laughing with him.

“Funny you should mention video games…” she gave her best _ innocent _ look, looking up at him with big wide eyes.

“Oh, boy, here we go. Is this the part where you ask for money to go to the arcade?”

“Oh, c’mon, can’t you spare a few dollars for your darling _ daughter _to play video games with her friends?” 

“That depends, will it make you stop pestering me about my love life?”

“Oh, you _ know _ it won’t! Besides, I can’t have my dads thinking they don’t love each other, after all.”

Drake felt his heart pick up. “Dads?”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, yeah, _ dads _ , you big dummy. You’re getting _ married _ . You’re _ both _ gonna be my dad.”

Drake paused, thinking the statement over. Oh, jeez, did Launchpad even _ want _ that? He felt his anxiety bubbling up in his chest again, and immediately felt it dissipate as Gosalyn shifted in his arms and a memory came back to him, all at once.

_ Sitting in the Thunderquack — the real, actual Thunderquack! — with Launchpad behind the controls. Gosalyn was in his arms, sound asleep, her energy all burnt out from running around the city with them in their attempts to escape Taurus Bulba and his goons. _

_ They landed the ship behind McDuck Manor’s off-property garage, Launchpad reassuring him that she’d be safe there for now. And he carefully moved Gosalyn into Launchpad’s arms, watching the way she clung to his jacket and curled into him, and the way Launchpad’s eyes widened and he smiled, such a warm and honeyed expression as he went and sat on the old couch against the wall, letting himself fall asleep with her while Darkwing stood guard and kept them safe through the night. _

He knew Launchpad loved him. He knew Launchpad loved _ her _. How could he not? But the idea of Launchpad really wanting to make this commitment with him, romantic interest or not, seemed a little too good to be true. 

“Y’know, you could do this for real, right?”

He snapped out of his thoughts, staring down at Gosalyn. She was looking down at her shoes, picking at her hands. 

“Buh?”

“Date him. Marry him. Be all,” she waved her hand and made a fake gagging sound, “_ sappy _ and romantic with him. He’d say yes if you had the nerve to ask him.” 

Drake spluttered and felt himself blushing. “You– You don’t _know _that. There’s so many ways things could go wrong! I don’t want to lose him.”

Gos just looked up at him for a while, frowning before smacking the back of his head. 

“Wh— ow! Hey!”

“That’s what you get for being dumb! Now give me twenty dollars for games!”

“I’ll give you _ five _ dollars if you apologize,” Drake scolded.

“Fifteen, and I _ won’t _ tell Launchpad that you’re hiding because you think he isn’t in love with you.”

“...That’s just not fair, you–!”

“Guess Launchpad is getting an early birthday present!”

Drake sighed. “...Ten, and I don’t ground you for blackmailing your poor, innocent father.”

“You wouldn’t ground your favorite daughter right before your wedding, would you?”

He broke, laughing and holding her close. “You’re my _ only _daughter!”

“Which makes me the favorite by default!” 

They hugged for a while before Drake sighed, taking out his wallet and giving her a handful of quarters from the coin pocket, as well as a ten dollar bill.

“Will that cover the hush money fee, boss?” he joked, watching her count up the quarters.

“This’ll suffice. For now, you may survive.”

They laughed and Drake kissed her forehead. “I love ya, Gosalyn. You’re the best kid anyone could have asked for.”

“Yeah, love you too, dad… Are you gonna talk to LP?”

Drake nodded, more sure of himself now. He fully turned off his music. “I’ll try. Just… I hope things go well. You go have fun and don’t worry about me, alright? Go be a kid and stop worrying about grown up stuff.”

She stepped back, pocketing the cash. “Alright, but if you don’t step up and say something before the wedding, _ I will _. And you don’t want that, trust me.”

He rolled his eyes, saluting. “Hey, which one of us is the parent here?”

“It’d help if you didn't act like such a big baby all the time.”

“Hey, still your dad here! I can ground you!”

She opened her mouth to say something, but paused, taking her phone out and checking it. “Oh, Huey’s brothers are here and one of them claims to be the best at racing games! Looks like I’ve gotta go prove him wrong, love you, bye, dad!” she ran back around the corner, leaving Drake to smile and let his chest fill up with love.

He needed to tell Launchpad. Maybe not here, maybe not now, and maybe not all of it, but he had pizza to get back to. He stood up, making his way back around the corner with deep breaths before sitting across from Launchpad, who was playing a game on his phone with one hand and eating pizza with the other.

“Launchpad?”

“Hm?” he looked up, mouth still full of pizza and cheese sticking to the corner of his mouth. Drake felt nothing but love in his chest, taking a deep breath and speaking.

“I’m sorry for panicking and walking off, I got overwhelmed and my anxiety got the better of me. I’m…mostly okay now though, and I’d like to continue our…not-date.”

He said it like he was reading off a script, and Launchpad recognized that he probably was. Drake had a habit of doing that— of making scripts for himself and following them. Especially when he was nervous. 

Launchpad dragged his chair around so that they would be sitting next to each other instead of across from each other, and Drake sat down. Launchpad wrapped an arm around his shoulder, pulling him in close and hugging him tight, letting Drake practically melt into him right away. 

Drake Mallard had always assumed that he hated hugs. Hugs were something clingy relatives gave him, smelling overwhelmingly of perfume and making him cough and feel trapped. Hugs were something he just sort of _ endured _, rather than enjoyed

But then, true to form, Launchpad hugged him for the first time and changed his world. He realized that maybe the rest of the world was onto something, because he had never felt more safe than when he was wrapped up in Launchpad’s arms. He smelled like pizza grease and cologne and new clothes now, with an underlying smell of jet fuel and smoke that he never seemed to be able to completely shake, but Drake absolutely loved it. Launchpad’s hugs weren’t restricting, they were just _ safe _.

“You know me too well,” Drake muttered, resting his head on Launchpad’s chest. 

“Yeah,” Launchpad smiled, intertwining their fingers. “I…wanna talk about something though. Before we get too comfortable?”

“Of course,” Drake leaned back, keeping their hands locked together. “I’m listening, buddy.”

“...It’s about Gos. Do you, uh… Are you wanting help with, like, raising her and stuff? Because if you are, I, uh…I’m legally gonna be her other parent ‘n all, so if you wanted the extra help! I love you guys, I want to be there for you. I’m not just doing this for show, I wanna do this with you. If you want me to, that is!”

Drake looked up at him in awe, a smile spreading over his face as he hugged Launchpad as tight as he could. “I could really use the help, buddy,” he whispered.

“Of course, DW!” Launchpad said, squeezing him back. 

Both of them wondered how they got so lucky.

“Also, are you keeping my hat?”

—

If there was one thing Boyd Drake was good at, it would have to be learning.

Constantly, with every tiny miniscule bit of information around him, he was _ always _learning. 

He was learning about other people, and their habits. He could so easily predict what everyone else would say or do, or how soon his brother would…_ snap _ again. He knew where his parents were at all times, knew by the distant footsteps in the mansion, by the way weight settled in the floorboards.

He researched things, sometimes. Through watching movies, and through reading, and through the internet.

He really liked video games. He _ loved _ video games, actually. He had blown through every game Doofus had, from the piles of old _ DS _ games (some of the consoles snapped in half) to some that he had bribed his way into getting early.

He _ really _ liked cabinet games. Old arcade games, especially. Doofus had a lot of them, and he never even _ played _ them! He had absentmindedly agreed to let Boyd play them and within the week the scoreboards read **BOYD **all the way across on every game they owned.

(Some of those games turned up mysteriously missing, as well.)

Louie had been a _ great _ source of info on video games. Louie had been a great source of info on _ everything _, really! One of the perks of having a supercomputer running in your brain is that you don’t actually need a phone to text people.

Louie was a little put off at first by how quickly Boyd could text him back, but he found it was a _ great _ way to keep himself busy. Boyd just appeared to be constantly available and excited to talk to him, which was nice in itself.

So of course while Scrooge was fretting about the catering, he was texting Boyd.

**Boyd: **I watched a documentary about cursed video games last night! I really want to play some of these games, they look fun! Is there a library for cabinet games, do you think? I could always buy the cabinets online but they’re really expensive and I don’t like wasting money :-[

** _Louie_ **: have you ever gone to an arcade?? that sounds like what ur looking for p much. just a building for video games

**Boyd:** Oh, that’s it! Are there any near us? I’d really like to visit one!

** _Louie:_ ** u could always go to funsos. i usually go 2 the one at the boardwalk but the 1 in duckburg mall is closer 2 u and has a bigger game room. my siblings are heading 2 the mall rn for wedding stuff. ur coming right?

**Boyd: **Of course, I’d love to go! Both to the wedding, and the arcade!

** _Louie:_ ** im looking 4 an excuse to leave the mansion rn and this is perfect, do u wanna meet there later today? if u can i mean. u could finally meet my siblings & stuff. scrooge will probs let me go if u go. dewey would probs come along bc he somehow already finished his dumb wedding stuff.

**Boyd:** I’ll ask my parents! I’d love to go with you!

** _Louie_ **: cool cuz we also have a bunch of free leftover tokens from when a mob boss held us hostage @ funsos once lol :crylaugh: :crylaugh: :crylaugh:

—

Scrooge, as it turns out, couldn’t drive at _ all. _ They had to call a cab to the mall because Launchpad was already up there, and Scrooge was _ not _ happy about having to pay cab fare. 

“Malls are just overpriced flea markets, boys. There’s nothing of appeal about any of them unless you’re _ making _ the money they scam out of people!”

“Uncle Scrooge, you know we’re only going for the arcade, right?” Louie said, looking up from his phone.

“Yeah, Louie’s only going to meet his_ b _—” Dewey was cut off as Louie clamped a hand over his mouth. 

“Can it, _ Dewford _, or I’m stealing your tokens!” 

“Alright, alright, jeez! I’m just glad to get out of the mansion for _ non _-life threatening adventure reasons.”

“You said it,” Louie nodded, leaning back further against the seat.

“Oh, you kids don’t know how to have fun,” Scrooge waved his hand, rolling his eyes.

“No, I just prefer my head when it’s attached to my body,” Louie said. 

“Besides,” Dewey nudged him. “It’s never too late for things to turn into a dangerous adventure!”

They got out of the cab and filed into the mall, spotting Huey and Webby sitting at a booth with papers spread out between them. Lena was leaned up against Webby’s side, apparently taking a nap, while Violet sat next to Huey, making notes on the papers alongside the other two.

“Yep, nerd business, got it. Don’t care. I’m going to make sure all my high scores are still in place,” Dewey raised his hands in defeat. 

“Boyd won’t be here for another half an hour at _ least, _so I’ll just follow you around until we find something fun to do,” Louie shrugged, putting one headphone in and shoving his hands into his pockets. He found a racing game someone had unplugged and sat in it, thankful for the qui–

“That’s– this isn’t _ POSSIBLE _!”

Scratch that. He got up, wandering over to where Dewey appeared to be having a crisis. 

“What’s got you so worked up?”

“Someone topped every high score in here! I don’t know how someone could even _ get _ scores this high! Who did this?!”

Louie squinted at the screen. “Apparently someone named _ GOZ _.”

“Somebody call me?”

A girl with bright red hair stuck her head over the top of one of the machines, kicking her legs up. Dewey jumped back and Louie threw an arm in front of him. 

“Wait–_ you’re _GOZ?”

“It’s Gosalyn, actually,” she climbed down from the top of the cabinet, wobbling only slightly on her way down before landing with both feet on the ground. She stuck her hand out in greeting. 

Dewey took it, a little dazed. She shook his hand hard and fast, leaving him rattled. 

“What were you doing up on top of the Ms. Pac-man cabinet?” Louie asked, squinting at her.

“Playing on my phone. I beat all the games here, so I’m back to this, I guess.”

Dewey’s jaw dropped. “You beat _ ALL _ the games?”

She shrugged. “Yeah? What, like it’s hard? Some joker before me had all the high scores too.”

“_ This _ joker! Me! Dewey!” Dewey pointed to himself. “My high scores!”

Gosalyn laughed and crossed her arms. “What, you wanna defend your title? Name any game, I’ll beat you at it, and maybe you can learn a few tricks from the master,” she stuck her hand out, tossing a token in the air and catching it.

Dewey grinned and nodded, fishing a coin out of his own pocket. “Oh, you’re _ on. _”

—

Boyd was let loose into Funso’s Fun Zone with a bag full of tokens and a kiss on the forehead, asking him not to go anywhere without texting them first, reminding him to watch his brother, and that his parents would be back in a few hours.

There were so many things going on at once… So many kids his own age, so many sounds and lights and _ games _.

Doofus immediately made a beeline for a cluster of games they already had at home, while Boyd noticed a crowd gathered around one of the machines. It was an old racing game, but one where you actually had to tilt a fake motorcycle with your whole body to drive.

There was a girl there, and she was winning by a _ lot _. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and her eyes were focused on the screen, like she didn’t even notice the crowd of kids around her. 

“Excuse me? What’s going on up there?” he asked one of the kids.

“That girl’s about to beat the reigning champ of RoadBlazers 3k!”

Boyd’s eyes sparkled. “Woah… Who’s the champion?”

The kid gestured to the opposite side of the machine where a matching copy of it sat, the two clearly linked into a multiplayer match. Boyd stepped over, weaving through the crowd to find–

“Louie? Hey, is that you?!"

He was standing next to the machine, looking at the kid riding it. His brother, perhaps? They looked almost identical, except the one on the bike was wearing blue instead of Louie’s signature green. He looked over at Boyd, lighting up and raising his juice glass so Boyd could see him.

“Hey, Boyd! Over here!”

“Who what?” Dewey looked up in shock for a split second before swearing and looking back at the screen, the girl cheering from the other side. 

“Awww, yeah! In your _ face _, Dew-ser! Six wins in a row and counting!” 

“Aw, come on, that’s no fair! They distracted me!” Dewey groaned, hopping off the machine.

“Ah, ah, ah, don't back out now, a deal’s a deal! Hand over the bounty!”

Boyd watched as they both met in the middle, Dewey reluctantly shoving a plastic bag into her hands. She shook it, weighing the contents before looking inside and pulling out a token, inspecting it before smiling and tossing it to Boyd.

“Thanks for the help, new kid.”

He swiped it out of the air, awestruck. She turned to face the twins again, 

“A pleasure doing business with you once again, my good sir. Who’s the bowtie?”

Dewey shrugged and looked over at Louie.

“Oh, Boyd? He’s a friend. Boyd, this is Gosalyn, a new regular at the Funzo’s arcade. She's currently destroying Dewey in every video game ever made.” 

“Sup,” she held out her hand, ignoring Dewey's indignant sputtering, and Boyd happily shook it, maybe a little rougher than he should have. She didn’t seem to mind it, though, shaking back just as hard. 

“Hi, I’m Boyd! I’ve never been to a real arcade before!”

“Have you ever been to a _ fake _arcade?” Gosalyn asked, still holding his hand. Boyd shook his head with a smile.

“No, but my brother has a lot of old arcade game cabinets at home! He’s the one over there shaking the pinball machine.”

They turned to look, cringing collectively as Doofus yelled out, knocking the machine over on its side as an alarm sounded.

“...He has issues,” he muttered.

“...I can see that. Sooooo, what kinda games do _ you _like?”

Boyd lit up. “All of them! I _ love _ video games!”

She grinned and tugged him closer. “You ever played DDR?”

“What’s that?”

She smiled and didn’t respond, simply turning around and heading to a different machine. Boyd reached out for Louie’s hand. Louie reluctantly took it, following the train of kids as the crowd congealed around Dewey again. She pulled him up onto a platform with arrows on the ground and he watched his step, arcing around them.

“I’ll pick an easy song to start out. There’ll be arrows on the screen, you just have to step on the right arrows on the ground at the same time!”

Boyd caught the fact that she held nearly all the high scores on _ this _ game too, glancing at her as she stretched. He copied the action, even though he didn’t exactly _ need _ to.

The song started, and he watched Gosalyn without moving for the first few seconds. Louie was leaned up against the side of the machine, drinking his juice. He gave Boyd a thumbs up, and Boyd grinned, starting to dance along.

_ Perfect! Perfect! Perfect! Perfect! _

The song ended, the crowd in game cheered, and the small crowd around them cheered. Gosalyn was out of breath, but smiling, until she looked at Boyd’s score and her eyes went wide with shock.

“You only missed _ five notes _?”

Boyd frowned, seeing that she got a perfect score. “Oh, I was distracted for the first part! Sorry.”

She grabbed him by the shoulders. “No, no, you’ve got it backwards, that’s _ insane! _ You’ve really never played before?”

He shook his head, leaning back a little. 

“Dang, Gos, guess Boyd is just a better gamer than you!”

Boyd felt her grip tighten before she let go, dusting her hands off on her jeans. “Pfsh. Nah, it’s just beginners luck is all! Let’s crank up the heat a little. I could beat this nerd with one leg! I’m the best there’s ever been!”

“Care to make a wager on that, Gos?” Louie smirked at her. She stepped off the platform and approached him. 

“What did you have in mind?”

“Double or nothing on your bet with Dewey that you lose to Boyd. You pick the song and the difficulty. Sound fair?” he held a hand out, looking up at her through his bangs.

She thought for a moment before shaking his hand, grinning. “Deal.”

“Louie, are you sure about this? She’s _ really _ good!” Boyd frowned. Louie put a hand on his shoulder, and Boyd noted the temperature change underneath his hand.

“Trust me, I’ve got a hunch. I believe in you, buddy.”

Boyd blinked for a moment, replaying the words in his head over and over, a bright smile crossing his face. “I won’t let you down, Louie!”

There was so much genuine emotion behind his words that it knocked Louie off kilter a little. He coughed into his fist. “Yeah, yeah, alright, just go!”

Boyd nodded and hopped back onto the platform, Gosalyn waiting with her hand hovering over the start button. “Ready?”

“Ready!”

The song started, something poppy and electronic and fast paced that Gosalyn moved with expertly, getting all perfect scores across the board. Boyd kept up, copying her and matching her beat for beat. 

Until Gosalyn swiped her leg under his and he toppled, falling forward and missing three notes in a row before getting stable again. It wasn’t much, but it was just enough to knock him into second place. The song ended and Gosalyn caught her breath, a victorious grin on her face. 

“Aw, what?! You totally cheated, that’s not fair!”

“We didn’t establish any rules against knocking him over, therefore, it’s fair game! My winnings, please!” she held her hand out, looking down at Louie.

Louie frowned, crossing his arms. “I’ll throw in a gift card for a rematch— no cheating this time!”

“_ Fine. _” Gosalyn put in another four coins, knowing the payoff would be worth it. 

The same song started again, and they both kept up, neither one missing a single note. The song ended and she caught her breath again, scowling at the winning screen.

**Tie!**

It _ mocked _ her. This kid just started playing _ today _; how was he this good?! He stepped off of the platform, much to her confusion. “Wait, what are you doing? We’ve got to play ‘til one of us wins!”

Boyd tilted his head, eyebrows drawing together in confusion. “No? The bet was if you lost, Louie would get the money. You didn’t lose, so it’s your win.”

Gosalyn squinted, doing the math in her head before smirking at Louie. “You heard the man, hand over my winnings!”

“Aw, what?! Boyd!” Louie groaned, tossing the coins over to her while she laughed. 

Boyd shrugged. “Sorry, Louie! I tried my best!”

Louie sighed, patting his shoulder. “It’s fine…I don’t play video games anyway. At least not these ones. They’re all rigged.”

Gosalyn finished counting the tokens up before taking a fistful and giving them to Boyd. “Your cut, my friend.”

Boyd lit up, grinning as he stuck the coins in his pockets. “We’re _ friends _?”

“For sure! You’re the only one who’s ever even come close to beating me! Are you some kinda mutant or what?” Gosalyn joked, elbowing him.

“Nah, he’s a robot,” Louie said casually, taking a sip of his juice. 

Boyd froze. He hated being reminded of his robotic origins, hated thinking about it. It just felt…wrong. 

“No, I’m not. I’m real,” he shook slightly, pupils small. Louie frowned, stepping forward and putting a hand on his arm.

“Hey, man, it’s okay! You’re real, I never said you weren’t real! It’s okay!”

Boyd took a deep breath, calming down. 

“Okay…Sorry for freaking out there, aha! I don’t know what came over me!” Boyd wrung his hands together. Gosalyn made eye contact with Louie, a silent conversation going between them. 

Gosalyn messed up his hair, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “You’re good, buddy!”

Louie nodded his head back. “I’ve got an idea how we can get the most out of those coins. Say, Boyd, you ever played skeeball?”

“Nope!”

“You’ll pick it up quick,” Louie reassured, patting his back.

—

“Gosalyn? We’re about to head back to the mansion, we need everyone to— _ woah _ that is a _ lot _of tickets.”

Gosalyn was barely visible under the mountain of tickets in her arms, twisting around her like some kind of snake. There was a kid next to her that he didn’t recognize, carrying a slightly smaller pile of tickets.

“Yeah, Louie, Boyd ‘n I figured out a trick for one of the games so we got the jackpot, like, 15 times in a row.”

Two more kids with huge wads of tickets approached, one with them folded neatly and tucked under one arm and the other with a messy, knotted pile stacked high above his head. 

“Are those _ all _ your tickets?”

“We’re splitting the winnings four ways cuz Louie and Dewey gave me their tokens, but yep! Thank you, my friends!”

“Alright, but don’t get all souped up on sugar, okay? I don’t want you to get sick,” Drake patted her head.

“Geez, dad, I have _ some _ self control,” she laughed, leaning up into his hand with a smile. 

“Hang on, did you say _ dad _ ? _ You’re _ the kid Drake and Launchpad are adopting?!” Dewey dropped his tickets on the ground in a heap. 

“Uh, yeah?” Louie squinted at him. “Huey’s been sending pictures of her to the group chat all day! Hang on, did you really not know?”

“No!” Dewey frowned. “But you’re so…”

Gosalyn gave him a _ look _ . “So… _ what _?”

Dewey blinked._ So cool, so smart. So fun to be around. So good at video games._ _My friend, now._

If Launchpad was this kids dad, she’d be around a lot more. Was that really so bad? Oh, jeez. All the guilt from trying to sabotage the wedding hit him at once.

“...Nothing. Don’t mind me! Louie, you can have my tickets, I’ve gotta take care of some stuff,” he said, walking off and frantically looking up _ how to cancel wedding invitations that have already been sent. _

“Alright,” Gosalyn said. “Whatever that means.”

Louie shrugged. “Eh, I wouldn't worry about it, I’m sure it’ll work itself out. Let’s buy our candy.”

"Alright!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please remember to leave a comment if you liked this!! : DDD  
have yall seen the lgbt duck zine? you really should check it out if you havent already!!  
https://gumroad.com/l/KKvni


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things progress

The last time that Flintheart Glomgold had received an invitation to McDuck Manor, it had very quickly escalated into a whole  _ ordeal _ with ghost-demons and a murder. But he had fun, of course, and it’s not like they didn’t  _ know _ he was going to try and go after Scrooge. On his  _ birthday _ , no less? It had been perfect, even if his plan hadn’t worked out the way he expected it to.

The invitation that he had just received was a little bit different, though. For one, it was over text. In fact, it was the first (and only) text Scrooge’s grand-nephew (The blue one. He was pretty sure.) had ever sent him that wasn’t in regards to the talk show he hosted! Which Glomgold  _ deserved _ a solid spot on, by the way!

Second of all, this invitation was for an event at the manor that was  _ not _ in relation to Scrooge. When Glomgold had first read  _ you are cordially invited to a wedding at McDuck Manor, this saturday,  _ he had immediately felt his stomach drop with… let’s call it  _ distaste  _ at the idea that it was Scrooge and Goldie finally tying the knot. Much to his relief, it was just for McDuck’s driver and some… guy?

Regardless, it was another open invitation to-

His phone buzzed and he jumped, almost dropping it, but he swatted it against the wall mid-air in reflex. Glomgold growled, picking it up off the ground and spinning around in his office chair as he read over the text he had been sent.

**Dewey Duck: ** INVITE CANCELLED! pls disregard

Wait, what?

**Flintheart Glomgold: ** WHY? IS THE MANSION CURSED AGAIN????

**Dewey Duck: ** no. 

**Dewey Duck: ** wait, again?? 

**Dewey Duck: ** it doesnt matter u just cant come )): sorry

**Flintheart Glomgold: ** IS THE WEDDING CANCELLED????

**Dewey Duck: ** no u just cant come for reasons. also u have been bumped for this weeks dewey dew-night i think i might b able to interview darkwing duck lol

**Flintheart Glomgold: ** >:(

**Flintheart Glomgold: ** OKAY I WONT GO TO THE WEDDING I WILL SIMPLY NOT ATTEND

**Dewey Duck: ** yeah okay, you saying that makes me think youre going to try and break into the wedding for some reason and this is me telling you so i cant take responsibility for whatever you do PLEASE DONT MESS WITH THE WEDDING. thx

**Flintheart Glomgold: ** WHAT DOES THX MEAN

**Dewey Duck: ** thanks

**Flintheart Glomgold: ** YOU ARE WELCOME NOW WHAT DOES THX MEAN

Glomgold was formulating a plan in his head.

No, not a plan.

A scheme, as he does. The quality of which can only be described as cockamaime. 

Now, to sneak into a wedding… 

-

**Meanwhile, some time earlier, in a plane… **

**-**

Della hung up the phone, tossing it onto the dashboard and adjusting her grip on the controls. They were just cruising right now, but it was always better to be safe than sorry. 

“Della,” Penumbra said, sitting in the co-pilot's seat. Their adventure had gone  _ exceedingly _ well, with a fair bit of treasure in the back and only two close brushes with death, which was  _ remarkably _ low for an expedition led by Della and even more remarkable for one where Donald (and his luck) was involved.

Penumbra was fiercely protective over both of them, with the twins being the only two Earthers that she completely trusted other than Webbigail. (She really liked that kid, practically saw her as one of her own.) Any time either of them got a little too close to something dangerous, be it a steep edge or a trap or, towards the end of their crucible, giant cave spiders, she would wedge herself in between the threat like a shield, facing it head on and ready to attack.

It was strange to be defended, after Della had spent so long being the one on the front lines. On most adventures, she was the one doing the fighting, right alongside Donald, but Penny was much bigger and stronger than both of them and defended them with an ease and confidence that made Della feel… odd.

It wasn’t jealousy, she knew what that felt like. It wasn’t just admiration either. This ran  _ much  _ deeper than that. 

“Yes, my lucky Penny?” she leaned back, smiling at her roommate. Donald groaned from the back, where he was curled up in his hammock taking a well deserved rest. 

“Can you  _ please  _ let me sleep in peace without you two being sappy up there,” he whined, pulling the pillow over his head.

“Hmm… nah,” Della grabbed a pen and tossed it at him, the object bonking him in the head before falling harmlessly to the floor. Della laughed when he threw it back with twice the force.

Penumbra shifted in her seat. “Right… um. What  _ is  _ a wedding?”

Della stared at her for a few seconds before gasping. “Oh! It’s when two people get married!”

Penny’s confused stare deepened. “Yeah, that… doesn’t help.”

Della frowned. “It’s… when two people love each other very much, and- jeez how do I put this. It’s like… promising to be with someone forever! Like, you live together and do everything together and love each other and all that,” she waved her hand, looking over the plane’s speed and altitude to try and clear her head.

Penumbra nodded, humming to herself. “So like us?”

Della didn’t respond for a good few seconds, her head blank. Donald laughed from behind her, smacking his knee. “Yeah, Dumb-ella, when was your wedding?”

“Shut  _ up _ ! You’re lucky there’s nothing else I can throw-” she stopped for a second.

Donald yelped as he was knocked out of his hammock by Della’s prosthetic leg.

“ _ Hey! _ ”

“Anyway, no, it’s… different. It’s just different,” Della adjusted her grip on the handles again, talking quickly to try and smother the warmth in her cheeks.

“Different how?” Penumbra propped her head up on her hand, elbow resting on her knee. 

Della fumbled over her words, smiling awkwardly. “It’s- well- you have to have… romantic feelings for the person. Be their boyfriend or girlfriend or partner for a  _ long  _ time beforehand.”

“ _ Ohhhh _ ,” Penumbra nodded, crossing her arms and turning her gaze back out among the clouds. “You Earthers are so obsessed with  _ ceremonies _ . Birthdays, weddings, graduations… it’s strange.”

“Oof, wait till you hear about holidays,” Della laughed, nudging her. Penumbra didn’t respond, merely humming in recognition.

“...Have you ever… had a wedding?”

Della glanced at her. “What, like, me? Gotten married? No, no. Didn’t wanna tie myself down, y’know? Plus I uh… never really knew anyone that I’d wanna marry? I dated around in college but it wasn’t ever really serious. It’d have to be someone who can handle the fast paced life that comes with being part of this family,” she laughed. “People like that are hard to find. Plus it’d have to be someone Scrooge and Donnie and, well, now the  _ kids _ approve of… and it’s so hard to meet people as a single mom…”

Penumbra wasn’t sure why she had the urge to defend herself, but it practically overcame her, the words coming out before she had time to think. 

“Say, Donald, do you approve of me?”

Donald grumbled from under his blanket, “Yeah, sure, Pen…” before hugging his pillow and going back to sleep.

Della was  _ sure _ she was blushing. 

“I thought you and Launchpad had a thing going with the coffee dates?” 

Penumbra’s face twisted like she had tasted something sour.

“That didn’t work out. As it turns out, I don’t care for coffee… or for  _ men _ .”

Della laughed, half in surprise and half in agreement. She trailed off, trying to will the words that she wanted so badly to say to push their way into the world instead of just in her head.

Penny looked pretty in this lighting. She always looked pretty, but… right now, the sun was setting behind them, and the moon was rising, just to the right of them, full and milky-white. The sky was pink and violet and the sunshine was honey-golden and warm. 

Her gaze drifted from the sky over to Penumbra, like she was trying to commit this moment to memory. 

“Della? What are you staring at?”

“Huh? Nothing!”

She snapped to attention and looked away, trying to cross her legs to look cool and casual. Unfortunately, she forgot that she had thrown one of said legs across the room earlier, and ended up just sort of fidgeting in place. With another nervous laugh, she spoke, keeping her eyes fixed on the clouds.

“Then, maybe… do you wanna maybe try something else? With me, maybe?” 

She stumbled through the question, head full and buzzing with worry and hope and a million other little things.

“ _ Like, on a date, _ ” She added, in a quieter, shakier voice.

Penumbra sighed like she’d been holding her breath since she landed on Earth, reaching across the space between them and patting her arm, quelling every single nervous thought in Della’s head. 

“That would be… satisfactory.”

Della’s smile melted into something light and genuine and giddy, and she took one hand off the controls to pump it into the air with a quiet, _ “Nice! _ ”

-

Dewey was having a rough time. 

Weeding out everyone who he didn’t actually want to come to the wedding was proving to be a bit of a difficult task, especially considering, as it turns out, people tend to take it kind of personally when they’re told that they, specifically, have been uninvited from something for no clear reason.

(How do you tell someone  _ because you’re a villain _ without sounding like a jerk for inviting them in the first place?)

Dewey stayed pressed up against the car door for the entire ride home, frantically texting at least six people at once. 

All of a sudden, halfway into a particularly long message to Black Arts Beagle detailing that if he promised he would be civil, he could still attend and do his magic act, the screen on his phone went black.

Turns out, texting so many people at once wasn’t great on it’s battery life.

“No, no no no  _ nonono _ \- stay with me,” he shook the device, knocking his hand against it before crying out in defeat, dropping it onto the car floor. “ _ No _ !”

“Take it easy, it’s just a phone,” Lena squinted at him. Dewey scowled.

“It was  _ important _ !” 

Lena held her hands up in defense at his tone. “Woah, take it easy. Didn’t realize it was life or death. You okay?”

Dewey realized he had yelled at Lena, his  _ friend _ and took a deep breath, trying not to cry. “I’m just… overwhelmed! Yeah, yeah all this wedding stuff must be getting to me.”

Violet squinted at him from across the car, over Lena and Webby’s laps. “...He’s lying. What’s really the problem?”

Dewey’s stomach dropped. “Guh- how did you- nothing’s wrong!” He laughed nervously, wringing his hands and breathing fast. 

“Dewey…” 

Webby’s hand was on top of his. 

“I can fix it, I just- I need to fix this.”

“Fix what? What happened?” Webby squeezed his hand, reassuring. He shook his head.

“Nothing, it’s not a big deal, it’s fine!”

“It  _ is _ a big deal if it’s upsetting you this much,” Webby hugged him tightly. He held his breath for a long moment, her arms locked tight around his torso, until he sighed, the sound shaky and uncertain.

“So… I may have sort of… messed up the invitations. It’s a funny story. You’re gonna laugh!”

-

The kids seemed to be very engrossed in their current conversation, Drake noticed as they pulled back up to the mansion. The sun was hanging low in the sky, setting everything in a pinkish-gold glow. The plane was back in the hangar, which meant Scrooge’s niece and nephew and their friend were back in town. 

Drake felt a little guilty for causing an  _ all hands on deck _ situation, but then he looked down at Gosalyn as she cheerfully mingled with the other kids and realized he didn’t actually mind inconveniencing anyone if it meant she was happy. 

She looked up and ran towards him, tugging him down by the sleeve. 

“Dad, dad,  _ dad, _ we’re gonna go uh, play…  _ games _ in their tv room! Call me when it’s time to go?”

“Sure, sweetheart,” he kissed the top of her head, leaning down and giving her a hug before the group of them headed off into the mansion. 

Launchpad was behind him, he knew that for a fact. He could just tell by the way the air was, by the secure feeling in his heart. He had his hands on his hips and he was ready for anything.

“Uncle Scrooge!”

Except, maybe, meeting another three new people today. 

He had to admit, seeing a particularly tall Moonlander walking out of the hangar in full armor was a little concerning, considering they had fought a war to protect everyone from them. Then he saw that she was hand-in-hand with who he could only assume was the famed Della Duck, judging by her prosthetic, so he relaxed a little. 

He didn’t know much about Della and Donald, aside from what he had heard from Launchpad, but what he had heard was almost entirely admiration. Launchpad could spend quite a while talking about the various amazing adventures they went on together, in a way that almost made Drake consider going along for the journey.

Alas, a hero’s work is never done… he simply couldn’t leave St. Canard or Duckburg for that matter un-defended!

(Gizmoduck didn’t count.)

“So  _ you’re  _ the one Launchpad’s tying the knot with?” Della asked, swaying onto one hip and crossing her arms at him. 

“I- um- Drake Mallard! A pleasure to meet you,” he held his hand out. She regarded him for a moment while Launchpad bounced in place, gesturing excitedly towards Drake as if to say  _ look at him! Isn’t he great?! _

Della’s expression softened and she grabbed Drake’s hand, yanking him in for a hug. He stumbled into it, awkwardly hugging back with a forced smile on his face.

“Della Duck, at your service. You got any plans for a bachelor party?”

Drake laughed nervously, wringing his hands together. “Aha, well, it’s not  _ technically _ an actual real wedding, so I figured-”

“ _ BOOOOOO _ !!!” Della loudly interrupted, grabbing him by the shoulders. “No fun in that! C’mon, you both should come out with us tonight! We all go out to the bar where Donnie’s band performs at most fridays and  _ Launchpad _ has been skipping out on us for the last few weeks!”

Drake frowned, looking back at Launchpad who was making a  _ shut up _ motion with his hands until he realized Drake could see him and he snapped back to awkwardly standing there, fake-whistling “innocently”.

“You said you didn’t have any plans on fridays… if you were busy I could have-”

“No, we’re a team! I…don’t we have,” he nudged Drake’s shoulder, “Things to do tonight anyway?”

Drake blinked.

“Y’know, uh... _ work? _ ”

“Oh! I can call for backup, just for  _ one _ night… I’m sure  _ he _ can survive without me. Just for one night,” Drake frowned, but nodded to himself before looking back up to Launchpad and smiling. “I’ll just text him now to check that he can cover both of our, uh, shifts…”

  
  
  


Donald was very slowly and laboriously dragging in a crate full of treasure from the plane and Launchpad decided to distract himself by going over to help carry it in, only to be cut off as the crate was lifted into the air, carrying Donald with it. 

“Oh, glorious day! The brave and noble Duck family have returned from their perilous quest!”

“Ouf- yeah, yeah, I missed you too, buddy,” Donald grumbled, leaning off the edge of the box to look at Storkules as he spoke. 

Launchpad paused, turning back to Drake, who had successfully struck up a conversation with Della about Darkwing Duck.

“Yeah, I was never really  _ into  _ the super grimdark plots that the later episodes had? Jeez, those gave me nightmares.”

“Really? I felt like that was the writers keeping up with the age of the viewers, yknow? Edgy teens, n’ all that. Launchpad, what’s your stance on the matter?”

Launchpad blinked. “Hang on, Della, you like Darkwing Duck too?”

She shrugged. “I watched a little bit of it because one of my guildmates from this video game I liked was really into it. Themed his whole account after the show and everything! Are there a lot of, uh, big fans of Darkwing Duck out there?”

Drake and Launchpad both shook their heads. Drake crossed his arms.

“That game didn’t happen to be Legends of LegendQuest, did it?”

Della’s eyes went wide. “Yes? Why, did you know him? I think I went by Bell online back then, back when  _ stranger danger _ actually meant something.”

Drake laughed. “That- hang on,  _ you _ were Belladventure87?”

“You were DW91!? How  _ did _ you get that username, by the way?”

Drake struck a bit of a pose. “Constant vigilance! And, uh, sheer dumb luck.”

She playfully punched his shoulder and Drake smiled like it was a high honor. 

“Okay, you  _ have _ to go out with us tonight! Launchpad sure knows how to pick em, am I right, Penny?”

Penumbra looked Drake up and down with so much judgement in her eyes that it made his skin crawl. “I suppose.”

Drake shuddered.

Wait. Penny. Why did he know that name, Penny? It felt oddly familiar to him.

“Hey, Lieutenant P!”

Something clicked in Drake’s head as Penumbra nodded at him. 

Oh. Launchpad had gone on a few dates with her after the invasion.  _ That’s  _ why she was familiar. 

Launchpad smiled at her. 

Drake, as illogical as he knew it was, felt just the teeny tiniest bit jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took three months to update heres some dellumbra as recompense

**Author's Note:**

> please leave a comment if you want more/enjoyed this!!!!


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